You know who I’m after.
Dudley Dinosaur.
Dudley Dinosaur holding his Evil Toothbrush of Eternal Pain and Suffering
That stupid animated t-rex on those dental hygiene commercials who hopelessly attempts to teach you all proper dental hygiene. Except, that’s just what he WANTED you to think.
He’s really brainwashing innocent children into brushing their teeth twice a day and flossing once a day and verbally abusing 12-year-olds by teaching them unnecessary dental care techniques or ones they already should know. “Don’t forget regular dental checkups!” WE ALREADY KNOW THAT!!!
OK, first question: if you went out on a treasure hunt, would you like to find dental care implements instead of gold? Provided you are sane, of course not. Well, that’s just what Dudley Dinosaur cherishes more than gold! In his worst commercial yet, he had apparently stumbled upon an obsessive dentist’s treasure map and, an Indian Jones hat resting upon his crown, he squealed with glee at the many toothbrushes, strings of floss, and, of course, mouthguards they found. “And don’t forget regular dental checkups!” he reminded me again, and as always I cringed with pain. Yes, the Indiana Jones hat DID make him look a LITTLE less stupid, but no one wears it like ol’ Indy himself!
"Don't mock the hat, Dinosaur!"
There’s yet more torridness in these commercials. If there is one thing I hate more than dinosaurs finding dental care items, it’s dinosaurs singing the praises of dental hygiene. Oh, he sang, alright. He sang. And I hated every moment of it.
He's not of this world!
But there’s more! There was another yet more torrid commercial where mothers, rather than watching their kids play a soccer game, are chatting about MOUTHGUARDS. They claim you should always wear a mouthguard while playing soccer, tennis, basketball, and, of course, bike-riding. WHO WEARS A MOUTHGUARD WHILE RIDING A BIKE?!!! “And don’t forget regular dental checkups!” Ugh. I seriously hope that they make a Dudley commercial in which the meteor that wipes out the dinosaurs hits him and knocks all his teeth out, or, more logically and even better, kills him, which would happen anyway, but who cares?
Though she looks just as innocent as her brother, Dudley's sister is just as diablolical and vicious.
It’s not a plan to teach kids proper dental hygiene. It’s a plot to brainwash kids into being obsessive freaks and verbally abuse them with songs, dental-care related treasure hunts, and overall existence. Besides, who eats healthy just because a cartoon dinosaur tells them to? (That was in the treasure hunt)
The Dental Care Association aren’t the only ones in on this. It’s a conspiracy that also involves Toon Disney and partner Jetix. First of all, the characters of the Toon Disney shows are trying to get to the treasure of a food pyramid, which just happens to be just a place where they can exercise with other cartoons. And then, we’ve got the Power Rangers on Jetix talking about vegetables, and then whoever narrates Jetix says, “Eat right and exercise, so you can be strong like the Power Rangers!” Oh my gosh oh my gosh, I hate the Power Rangers with every fiber of my being. If they say that, then I’m just going to break out the extra-fat potato chips and king-sized Recess cup packs and feast until Power Rangers goes off the air…for good. And, since Power Rangers has been on since before I was even born, I don’t see that coming anytime soon.
DIE POWER RANGERS! DIE!
So, hide kids, cause Dudley Dinosaur, Toon Disney, and Jetix are out to get you with dental hygiene. They will brainwash and verbally abuse you, so steer clear.
Dudley Dinosaur.
Dudley Dinosaur holding his Evil Toothbrush of Eternal Pain and Suffering
That stupid animated t-rex on those dental hygiene commercials who hopelessly attempts to teach you all proper dental hygiene. Except, that’s just what he WANTED you to think.
He’s really brainwashing innocent children into brushing their teeth twice a day and flossing once a day and verbally abusing 12-year-olds by teaching them unnecessary dental care techniques or ones they already should know. “Don’t forget regular dental checkups!” WE ALREADY KNOW THAT!!!
OK, first question: if you went out on a treasure hunt, would you like to find dental care implements instead of gold? Provided you are sane, of course not. Well, that’s just what Dudley Dinosaur cherishes more than gold! In his worst commercial yet, he had apparently stumbled upon an obsessive dentist’s treasure map and, an Indian Jones hat resting upon his crown, he squealed with glee at the many toothbrushes, strings of floss, and, of course, mouthguards they found. “And don’t forget regular dental checkups!” he reminded me again, and as always I cringed with pain. Yes, the Indiana Jones hat DID make him look a LITTLE less stupid, but no one wears it like ol’ Indy himself!
"Don't mock the hat, Dinosaur!"
There’s yet more torridness in these commercials. If there is one thing I hate more than dinosaurs finding dental care items, it’s dinosaurs singing the praises of dental hygiene. Oh, he sang, alright. He sang. And I hated every moment of it.
He's not of this world!
But there’s more! There was another yet more torrid commercial where mothers, rather than watching their kids play a soccer game, are chatting about MOUTHGUARDS. They claim you should always wear a mouthguard while playing soccer, tennis, basketball, and, of course, bike-riding. WHO WEARS A MOUTHGUARD WHILE RIDING A BIKE?!!! “And don’t forget regular dental checkups!” Ugh. I seriously hope that they make a Dudley commercial in which the meteor that wipes out the dinosaurs hits him and knocks all his teeth out, or, more logically and even better, kills him, which would happen anyway, but who cares?
Though she looks just as innocent as her brother, Dudley's sister is just as diablolical and vicious.
It’s not a plan to teach kids proper dental hygiene. It’s a plot to brainwash kids into being obsessive freaks and verbally abuse them with songs, dental-care related treasure hunts, and overall existence. Besides, who eats healthy just because a cartoon dinosaur tells them to? (That was in the treasure hunt)
The Dental Care Association aren’t the only ones in on this. It’s a conspiracy that also involves Toon Disney and partner Jetix. First of all, the characters of the Toon Disney shows are trying to get to the treasure of a food pyramid, which just happens to be just a place where they can exercise with other cartoons. And then, we’ve got the Power Rangers on Jetix talking about vegetables, and then whoever narrates Jetix says, “Eat right and exercise, so you can be strong like the Power Rangers!” Oh my gosh oh my gosh, I hate the Power Rangers with every fiber of my being. If they say that, then I’m just going to break out the extra-fat potato chips and king-sized Recess cup packs and feast until Power Rangers goes off the air…for good. And, since Power Rangers has been on since before I was even born, I don’t see that coming anytime soon.
DIE POWER RANGERS! DIE!
So, hide kids, cause Dudley Dinosaur, Toon Disney, and Jetix are out to get you with dental hygiene. They will brainwash and verbally abuse you, so steer clear.
About me
- I'm T-Man
- ...Yeah, that's me.
- My profile
Previous posts
- Building the Bridge
- Cooking Daddy
- Twilit Beauty
- A Look Back at the Sixth Generation
- Guitar Hero Wishlist Cotninued!
- Black Beauty is a Beauty of a Book
- SUPER Papel de Greatness
- Guitar Hero 4 and/or Guitar Hero 3 Downloadable So...
- From One Galaxy to the Next, It's Obvious Super Ma...
- May the Brick Be With You
0 Responses to “Dudley Doomasaur”
Leave a Reply