From One Galaxy to the Next, It's Obvious Super Mario Galaxy is a Great Game
Published Friday, December 28, 2007 by T-Man.
Greetings, Earthlings.
We have taken over T-Man’s Games.
We demand that you hand over all your money in an Internet spam-like manner to contribute to the invasion.
And if you don’t…
Then, Mario suddenly comes in and bounces off their heads, turning them into coins!!! GASP!!!
Mario: I’ve-a saved you, T-Man! (Unties me)
Gee, thanks, Mario! So, uh, tell us about the, uh, new game, Super Mario Galaxy. (Pulls a microphone out of no where and holds it up to Mario)
Mario: Well, I can’t say the guys a-back at-a Nintendo and I haven’t done a good-a job! What-a did you-a think about-a the game?
Well, read on!
Ahem. Christmastime had hit our eyes like big pizza pies, and with so few Wii games before Christmas, and so many I wanted, I was headed straight for the jackpot. I woke up at about 8:30 in the morning and got my parents and sister up, after which her and me ran to the tree and started tearing up the giftrap ferociously while foaming of the mouth. While a few presents had to be held off on since I was having a party that day with my dad’s side of the family, I was extremely content for the time being, and could hardly believe I was getting more. There was NiGHTS Journey of Dreams, a DVD of the entire Sonic SatAM cartoon, Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus, The Dark Crystal (a movie), Beyond Good & Evil (a game that I wanted because it was reviewed well, but suffered the same poor fate as Psychonauts, which I also have and love, and didn’t do well), Zelda Twilight Princess, a new Memory Card with a lot of space for my Gamecube to replace the one I lost, Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games, possibly among others that I got before the Christmas party that I can’t even think of right now. Oh, yes, I got everything I wanted, and even more. But, one of the most important things I got that day was Super Mario Galaxy.
The game opens with Mario getting a letter from good ol’ Princess Peach…again. That day is the day of the Star Festival, to commemorate the day that a shooting star passed by the castle one day and shot out Power Stars, which the Toads took to the castle to use as a power source (as you can see, this game establishes continuity in the Mario storyline, as the Power Stars that the Toads took to the castle were obviously the ones you had to obtain in Super Mario 64). After heading to the castle, it becomes Paper Mario all over again. Bowser lifts Princess Peach’s castle up off the ground and into space! Mario goes up into space to save her, but a Magikoopa sends him flying away. A group of the star-like aliens called Lumas abduct Mario, so he could help them with their predicament, and in return, they’ll help him save Princess Peach. Their Grand Stars have been stolen by Bowser, so Mario must travel throughout the galaxies to save them! The story is pretty interesting for a Mario game, but not Paper Mario-esque in plot development. Yet, plot is not what Mario is known for, so who cares???
When you play the first level, it becomes apparent that Nintendo wasn’t lying when they said that this game would offer the innovation that Super Mario Sunshine didn’t. While Super Mario Sunshine was essentially Super Mario 64 with tighter controls and a waterpack (though it was still a good game), Super Mario Galaxy takes what made Super Mario 64 great and just expands it like an elastic wasteband. You’ll be exploring a variety of galaxies rather than painting worlds and portions of a dolphin-esque island this time around. These galaxies each have a certain number of missions, like previous Mario levels. Since I have only done all three missions in one galaxy, I haven’t checked to see if more appeared. However, I don’t know if it was Gametrailers or IGN that said it had more, but whatever. Anyway, these galaxies have a bunch of planets, and you’ll explore more as you progress through the missions. These planets have their own gravitational pull, which means that you can be on top, on the sides, or on the BOTTOMS of the planets! Since this game has a space theme, most levels have bottomless pits replaced with black holes, which, of course, will kill you instantly.
Along your adventure, you’ll discover separate galaxies, which experiment with new gameplay styles. The first of these is a galaxy in which you surf on a manta ray to get a Power Star. While the control isn’t as tight as I’d have liked, it’s still really cool. Then there’s a stage in which you’re rolling a ball with a Star in it to the end of the level in order to obtain it. You’ll also discover a galaxy (there may be more like this) that is basically a 2-D Mario level reiterated in 3-D, and as you may have guessed, it’s really cool.
Another new gameplay element added is Prankster Comets. These comets will occasionally pass by galaxies, bringing a Star that can only be collected by completing its specific trial. So far, I’ve only experienced two, the Speedy Comet (gives you a Star if you complete the level within the given time) and the Cosmic Comet (gives you a Star if you beat your cosmic doppelganger, similar to Shadow Mario from Sunshine), but in the explanation, it says that there is a Daredevil Comet, which makes you run through a level without much health.
There are also Powerups. The only ones I’ve come across so far are Bee Mario, which allows you to fly and climb on honeycombs, and a special mushroom that doubles your max health. There are also Boo Mario and Fire Mario (making a return from the good ol’ days), but I haven’t found those yet. It’s these varying gameplay styles, freshness of the normal worlds, varied level design, as well as a moderate difficulty--not too hard, but not too easy (which is weird because old Mario games are usually too hard and the newer ones too easy)--that keeps the game from getting repetitive or old.
OK, now I’m sure you all have been asking the same question (if you’ve never played the game, that is): HOW THE HECK DO YOU GET FROM GALAXY TO GALAXY?!!! Well, another new concept of the game is Sling Stars. The large ones that shoot you from place to place are the most common, while the smaller ones that shoot you shorter distances also appear. To get to a galaxy, you must enter an observatory dome from the central hub, get in the Pull Star, then choose a galaxy and then you’re off. When finding them on the field, however, you must jump into them, then spin the Wii Remote, and then you’re off to another planet! This Sling Star system really works, and, plus, how else wouldja get from place to place? Some Sling Stars are actually broken, and you have to find five Star Chips to fix them, and sometimes, you have to do something special to activate them.
So, now that that’s out of the way, you may be asking what you use the Wii Remote for aside from Sling Stars. Well, there is another interesting concept I haven’t gotten into detail on: Pull Stars. They look like small, blue versions of Sling Stars. By touching one with the Wii Remote cursor, it will pull you into it. This is used to get to previously unreachable areas, get to the galaxy select screen when in a dome, and even get through an entire section of one of the levels.
Of course, that’s not ALL you use the Wii Remote for. There are strange, meteor-like objects of different colors called Star Bits, and you can move the Wii Remote cursor over them to collect them. While you can also just touch them to collect them, getting them with the Wii Remote is much more fun, if you know what I mean. There is also a special move that you get in the beginning of the game, inspired by Mario’s up and B move from Super Smash Bros. (where he spins around with fists extended), that you can use by simply quickly spinning the Wii Remote.
Also, remember when I said that this game allows you to surf on a manta ray and control a ball? Well, those use the Wii Remote, too. In manta surfing, you hold the Wii Remote sideways (I think?) and tilt it left and right to control it. Again, this is not as tight as I’d have liked, so expect to fall out of the track MANY times before getting the hang of it. The ball is also a bit wonky, but, hey, you’re rolling a ball, and it needs to FEEL like you’re rolling a ball! Anyway, when controlling the ball, the front of the Wii Remote should be facing you, and you tilt it left and right to move in those directions. Again, since you’re rolling a ball, the control is a bit off, so, once again, expect to fall many times before getting the hang of it.
So, what are these Star Bits for? Do they replace coins? Coins still appear in the game in the same vain as Super Mario 64 and Super Mario Sunshine. They help you recover health, and, possibly (I haven’t tried it yet), collecting 100 of them will get you a Star. Star Bits are more common, and have a more limited use. By pressing B, you can throw Star Bits as a weapon, but there are also hungry Lumas (star people) with sticks with Star Bits on them that look like cheerleader pompoms. If you feed them enough Star Bits (Lumas consider Star Bits a delicacy), they’ll “burst with snacky happiness and transform” (yes, they say that) into a Sling Star or, once (as far as I’ve seen), a *galaxy* (uhh…yes).
So, yes, we know it’s an awesome game, but how does it fare in categories besides gameplay? Well, we’re about to find out! Graphically, the game is a work of art. The worlds are colorful and diverse--no two galaxies are alike. The character models have received a decent upgrade from Super Mario Sunshine, but the surroundings are the most improved. In levels with water, the water looks very photorealistic--even with ripple effects! All in all, it’s one of the best-looking games on the system.
Sound-wise, it’s Mario, all right. Charles Martinet reprises his roll as Mario, and with good results. While the game’s voice acting is mostly limited to gibberish with subtitles, the actors are still doing a good job. As far as sound-effects go, I have no problem. The music is good and Mario-esque. That’s all we need.
Now, seriously, you were probably going to buy this game before I wrote my review, or you got it for Christmas. I mean, it’s a MARIO game, for Pete’s sake! But still, for those of you who have not cared for Mario games thus far, I must recommend you rent this game and make your decision from there, as this is BY FAR the best Mario game ever created in the history of the world.
-----------------Summary-----------------
Story: Pretty Good. It’s Mario, all right, and pretty interesting at that, but plot development-wise, it’s still not Paper Mario in 3-D.
Gameplay: Pure Greatness!! There’s too much of it to describe in one sentence!!
Graphics: Pure Greatness!! Some of the best on the system.
Sound: Awesome! Just like the story, it’s Mario.
Overall: Pure Greatness!! The best Mario game to date. I already hereby proclaim it better than Super Mario Galaxy 2 (if that even comes out, heh).
We have taken over T-Man’s Games.
We demand that you hand over all your money in an Internet spam-like manner to contribute to the invasion.
And if you don’t…
Then, Mario suddenly comes in and bounces off their heads, turning them into coins!!! GASP!!!
Mario: I’ve-a saved you, T-Man! (Unties me)
Gee, thanks, Mario! So, uh, tell us about the, uh, new game, Super Mario Galaxy. (Pulls a microphone out of no where and holds it up to Mario)
Mario: Well, I can’t say the guys a-back at-a Nintendo and I haven’t done a good-a job! What-a did you-a think about-a the game?
Well, read on!
Ahem. Christmastime had hit our eyes like big pizza pies, and with so few Wii games before Christmas, and so many I wanted, I was headed straight for the jackpot. I woke up at about 8:30 in the morning and got my parents and sister up, after which her and me ran to the tree and started tearing up the giftrap ferociously while foaming of the mouth. While a few presents had to be held off on since I was having a party that day with my dad’s side of the family, I was extremely content for the time being, and could hardly believe I was getting more. There was NiGHTS Journey of Dreams, a DVD of the entire Sonic SatAM cartoon, Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus, The Dark Crystal (a movie), Beyond Good & Evil (a game that I wanted because it was reviewed well, but suffered the same poor fate as Psychonauts, which I also have and love, and didn’t do well), Zelda Twilight Princess, a new Memory Card with a lot of space for my Gamecube to replace the one I lost, Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games, possibly among others that I got before the Christmas party that I can’t even think of right now. Oh, yes, I got everything I wanted, and even more. But, one of the most important things I got that day was Super Mario Galaxy.
The game opens with Mario getting a letter from good ol’ Princess Peach…again. That day is the day of the Star Festival, to commemorate the day that a shooting star passed by the castle one day and shot out Power Stars, which the Toads took to the castle to use as a power source (as you can see, this game establishes continuity in the Mario storyline, as the Power Stars that the Toads took to the castle were obviously the ones you had to obtain in Super Mario 64). After heading to the castle, it becomes Paper Mario all over again. Bowser lifts Princess Peach’s castle up off the ground and into space! Mario goes up into space to save her, but a Magikoopa sends him flying away. A group of the star-like aliens called Lumas abduct Mario, so he could help them with their predicament, and in return, they’ll help him save Princess Peach. Their Grand Stars have been stolen by Bowser, so Mario must travel throughout the galaxies to save them! The story is pretty interesting for a Mario game, but not Paper Mario-esque in plot development. Yet, plot is not what Mario is known for, so who cares???
When you play the first level, it becomes apparent that Nintendo wasn’t lying when they said that this game would offer the innovation that Super Mario Sunshine didn’t. While Super Mario Sunshine was essentially Super Mario 64 with tighter controls and a waterpack (though it was still a good game), Super Mario Galaxy takes what made Super Mario 64 great and just expands it like an elastic wasteband. You’ll be exploring a variety of galaxies rather than painting worlds and portions of a dolphin-esque island this time around. These galaxies each have a certain number of missions, like previous Mario levels. Since I have only done all three missions in one galaxy, I haven’t checked to see if more appeared. However, I don’t know if it was Gametrailers or IGN that said it had more, but whatever. Anyway, these galaxies have a bunch of planets, and you’ll explore more as you progress through the missions. These planets have their own gravitational pull, which means that you can be on top, on the sides, or on the BOTTOMS of the planets! Since this game has a space theme, most levels have bottomless pits replaced with black holes, which, of course, will kill you instantly.
Along your adventure, you’ll discover separate galaxies, which experiment with new gameplay styles. The first of these is a galaxy in which you surf on a manta ray to get a Power Star. While the control isn’t as tight as I’d have liked, it’s still really cool. Then there’s a stage in which you’re rolling a ball with a Star in it to the end of the level in order to obtain it. You’ll also discover a galaxy (there may be more like this) that is basically a 2-D Mario level reiterated in 3-D, and as you may have guessed, it’s really cool.
Another new gameplay element added is Prankster Comets. These comets will occasionally pass by galaxies, bringing a Star that can only be collected by completing its specific trial. So far, I’ve only experienced two, the Speedy Comet (gives you a Star if you complete the level within the given time) and the Cosmic Comet (gives you a Star if you beat your cosmic doppelganger, similar to Shadow Mario from Sunshine), but in the explanation, it says that there is a Daredevil Comet, which makes you run through a level without much health.
There are also Powerups. The only ones I’ve come across so far are Bee Mario, which allows you to fly and climb on honeycombs, and a special mushroom that doubles your max health. There are also Boo Mario and Fire Mario (making a return from the good ol’ days), but I haven’t found those yet. It’s these varying gameplay styles, freshness of the normal worlds, varied level design, as well as a moderate difficulty--not too hard, but not too easy (which is weird because old Mario games are usually too hard and the newer ones too easy)--that keeps the game from getting repetitive or old.
OK, now I’m sure you all have been asking the same question (if you’ve never played the game, that is): HOW THE HECK DO YOU GET FROM GALAXY TO GALAXY?!!! Well, another new concept of the game is Sling Stars. The large ones that shoot you from place to place are the most common, while the smaller ones that shoot you shorter distances also appear. To get to a galaxy, you must enter an observatory dome from the central hub, get in the Pull Star, then choose a galaxy and then you’re off. When finding them on the field, however, you must jump into them, then spin the Wii Remote, and then you’re off to another planet! This Sling Star system really works, and, plus, how else wouldja get from place to place? Some Sling Stars are actually broken, and you have to find five Star Chips to fix them, and sometimes, you have to do something special to activate them.
So, now that that’s out of the way, you may be asking what you use the Wii Remote for aside from Sling Stars. Well, there is another interesting concept I haven’t gotten into detail on: Pull Stars. They look like small, blue versions of Sling Stars. By touching one with the Wii Remote cursor, it will pull you into it. This is used to get to previously unreachable areas, get to the galaxy select screen when in a dome, and even get through an entire section of one of the levels.
Of course, that’s not ALL you use the Wii Remote for. There are strange, meteor-like objects of different colors called Star Bits, and you can move the Wii Remote cursor over them to collect them. While you can also just touch them to collect them, getting them with the Wii Remote is much more fun, if you know what I mean. There is also a special move that you get in the beginning of the game, inspired by Mario’s up and B move from Super Smash Bros. (where he spins around with fists extended), that you can use by simply quickly spinning the Wii Remote.
Also, remember when I said that this game allows you to surf on a manta ray and control a ball? Well, those use the Wii Remote, too. In manta surfing, you hold the Wii Remote sideways (I think?) and tilt it left and right to control it. Again, this is not as tight as I’d have liked, so expect to fall out of the track MANY times before getting the hang of it. The ball is also a bit wonky, but, hey, you’re rolling a ball, and it needs to FEEL like you’re rolling a ball! Anyway, when controlling the ball, the front of the Wii Remote should be facing you, and you tilt it left and right to move in those directions. Again, since you’re rolling a ball, the control is a bit off, so, once again, expect to fall many times before getting the hang of it.
So, what are these Star Bits for? Do they replace coins? Coins still appear in the game in the same vain as Super Mario 64 and Super Mario Sunshine. They help you recover health, and, possibly (I haven’t tried it yet), collecting 100 of them will get you a Star. Star Bits are more common, and have a more limited use. By pressing B, you can throw Star Bits as a weapon, but there are also hungry Lumas (star people) with sticks with Star Bits on them that look like cheerleader pompoms. If you feed them enough Star Bits (Lumas consider Star Bits a delicacy), they’ll “burst with snacky happiness and transform” (yes, they say that) into a Sling Star or, once (as far as I’ve seen), a *galaxy* (uhh…yes).
So, yes, we know it’s an awesome game, but how does it fare in categories besides gameplay? Well, we’re about to find out! Graphically, the game is a work of art. The worlds are colorful and diverse--no two galaxies are alike. The character models have received a decent upgrade from Super Mario Sunshine, but the surroundings are the most improved. In levels with water, the water looks very photorealistic--even with ripple effects! All in all, it’s one of the best-looking games on the system.
Sound-wise, it’s Mario, all right. Charles Martinet reprises his roll as Mario, and with good results. While the game’s voice acting is mostly limited to gibberish with subtitles, the actors are still doing a good job. As far as sound-effects go, I have no problem. The music is good and Mario-esque. That’s all we need.
Now, seriously, you were probably going to buy this game before I wrote my review, or you got it for Christmas. I mean, it’s a MARIO game, for Pete’s sake! But still, for those of you who have not cared for Mario games thus far, I must recommend you rent this game and make your decision from there, as this is BY FAR the best Mario game ever created in the history of the world.
-----------------Summary-----------------
Story: Pretty Good. It’s Mario, all right, and pretty interesting at that, but plot development-wise, it’s still not Paper Mario in 3-D.
Gameplay: Pure Greatness!! There’s too much of it to describe in one sentence!!
Graphics: Pure Greatness!! Some of the best on the system.
Sound: Awesome! Just like the story, it’s Mario.
Overall: Pure Greatness!! The best Mario game to date. I already hereby proclaim it better than Super Mario Galaxy 2 (if that even comes out, heh).
A long time ago, in a home far, far away, T-Man typed on his computer a review for LEGO Star Wars: The Complete Saga. He had gotten it as a Christmas present, and started to work on it. However, ‘twas the night before Christmas, since we have a celebration on Christmas Eve as well, and for Santa to come (or for Mom and Dad to bring “Santa’s” bag into the living room), T-Man had to go to bed at 1:00 sharp, and had to take turns with his sister all night long, resulting in him not getting very far that day…and, plus, his sister saved over his file, so he’s pretty angry.
Since I’m actually writing this at 12:09 as my sis is playing the aforementioned game (hey, what happened to her Christmas presents?!), this review will probably come up later.
Oh, em, whatever. Either way, you have opened a review for LEGO Star Wars: The Original Trilogy! Please stand by as we play your favorite Star Wars hits! (Plays Cantina theme)
20 minutes later…
Well, I can’t say I didn’t have a good Christmas! As for me, I obtained LEGO Star Wars: The Original Trilogy for the Wii on Christmas Eve, as well as borrowed Metroid Prime 3: Corruption from my cousin, assuming I wouldn’t get it the next day (and I didn’t) since Dad said I couldn’t have it until I beat the first two Metroid Primes, and my Christmas shopping was already done by the time I beat them. I’m also going to review Metroid Prime 3, but I intend to get a little farther on it first.
On the next day, I got an UNIMAGINABLE amount of presents! From NiGHTS Journey of Dreams to The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass, from Sonic and the Secret Rings to Super Mario Galaxy, from Dirge of Cerberus -Final Fantasy VII- to Sonic Rush Adventure, the list kept on going, far, far beyond what I just put, and even such surprises as a LAN Adapter for my Wii so I could go online (my wireless is messed up) and Beyond Good and Evil. While there was no Metroid Prime 3, as I surmised, I had borrowed that the day before and intended to keep it until my birthday, which comes in January, by the way (man, that’s a lot of presents), and then I’d buy it with my birthday money.
Of course, I haven’t gotten very far on LEGO Star Wars (especially since my sis saved over my file, dang it). Ah, well. Oh, and by the way, I got the Wii version. Also, I have only seen the first movie (first movie chronologically, but I HAVE seen part of Episode IV), and I remember very little of it, so don’t expect many Star Wars-related jokes. So, let’s start at the beginning:
Once upon a time, in a home far, far away, there was a boy named T-Man who thought that the original LEGO Star Wars looked like crap. After seeing that his cousin had borrowed it and had seen it on Cheat!, he was fairly interested. Though he never got LEGO Star Wars I or II, he saw LEGO Star Wars: The Complete Saga as his chance, and thus, he put it on his Christmas list, and got it for Christmas. That was when he put it in his cousin’s Wii (he hadn’t brought his) and tried it out.
So, it’s Star Wars, right? Yeah, we got that down. Well, Star Wars games have a reputation for being notoriously…unappealing to me. Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic was particularly boring, and I think its sequel looks better (mainly because of the new Lightsaber colors, hehe), but since I didn’t find the first one very good, I don’t have very high expectations, and besides, those games were bought for my dad anyway. Jedi Knight Academy was much better and more exciting than Knights of the Old Republic, but still wasn’t good enough to buy (my cousin had borrowed that from my other cousin, so I played 2-player with him). Then there was LEGO Star Wars, which, after seeing it in action, I thought looked fun.
The game is actually both LEGO Star Wars I and II with extra levels and characters put on a Wii disc. While this game DOES have more content than most games combined would normally have, I’m not sure that it has very much, since I haven’t played the others. Thus, if you have LEGO Star Wars I and II, then you’d best check with other sources to see if there’s enough new content in it to buy it.
Once I started a New Game, I was pretty clueless as to where to go. You are dropped in the hub with Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kinobi (argh, what’s with the names?!) with no insight on where you need to go. While I’d have liked some hints on what to do next, I like the hub. It’s a good place to stock up on Studs (the currency of the LEGO Star Wars games), and just have fun destroying stuff. The shop is also here, where you can buy Golden Bricks, new characters, hints, and other things using Studs. Ahead are the Episode hubs, which are each divided into chapters, so you head into the first movie, and head into the Chapter 1 door when you begin the game. After beating the first chapter, you can now freely play all six movies, but you have to complete them chapter by chapter. Also, upon beating the first chapter, you’ll discover that the game has a REDICULOUS amount of content. When you complete the level, you’ll get a Golden Brick--two if you become a True Jedi by getting enough Studs. There is a counter for Golden Bricks, and it shows that there are 160 in the game. Also, when you unlock the Droid character after that stage, you’ll see about a billion unused character slots…
As with all Wii games, there is the matter of control. Well, I can’t say the Wii version of LEGO Star Wars: The Complete Saga doesn’t put the Wii Remote to good use. The Wii Remote is used mainly for swing Lightsabers (and slapping people for blaster-wielding characters like Padme), and little (if anything) else. But, of course, this is more fun than using just buttons on a controller, and, thus, I can recommend the Wii version over the 360 and PS3 versions just because of that! The control isn’t terribly responsive, but not painfully irresponsive either, and I doubt most players will have a problem with it. The button control maps up with the controller nicely. A is jump, B draws your weapon (and let’s you use it if you’re playing as a character with a blaster), Z uses your Force powers to allow you to solve puzzles, uncover hidden Studs, and even build things with LEGOS, and C allows you to switch characters.
Speaking of which, I found the system of character-switching unique. If you approach a character who is accompanying you, such as Obi-Wan Kinobi or Annikan Skywalker, you can press C to switch with that character and play as that character. While Obi-Wan is pretty much a second skin for Qui-Gon Jinn (in the first episode, at least), the other characters have special abilities that you can use to your advantage. For instance, since in the first movie, Annikan Skywalker is a kid, you can crawl into tight spaces with him, and blaster-wielding characters like Queen Amidala can use grappling hooks to go to previously unreachable places. You experience this in the first stage almost immediately, in which the Droid TC-14 (I think that’s what he’s called) is your only method of getting past doors activated by LEGO Panels. In the next stage, Jar-Jar further delves into this concept, as he jumps higher than Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan and therefore must be used to get to areas that Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan can’t reach.
In the graphical department, as far as games with characters based on LEGOS go, it’s pretty good. Obviously revamped from the original graphics (from what I’ve seen), they’re smoother, brighter, and more colorful. It has a consistent FPS, and there are few, if any, graphical glitches. The character models look like real Star Wars LEGOS have been transported into a stop motion version of the movies.
As for the story, the game stays pretty faithful to the movies as far as I’ve heard, with more levels corresponding to the movies’ plots. The game is also a laugh-induser, like the last ones. Voice acting is absent, but it doesn’t really need it. Top it off with all six movies, and you’ve got a great Star Wars game.
Sound-wise, not only does it feel like Star Wars, but it also sounds like Star Wars. The laser-shooting effect is ripped directly from the movies, as is the Lightsaber sound effect. The music is also directly ripped from the movies, but all I’ve noticed is the opening theme.
So, yeah, go buy this if you like Star Wars. If not, buy it for your kids if they like Star Wars. This is a good, family-oriented gift for any age.
---------------Summary----------------
Gameplay: Awesome! Fun Wii controls and a unique character-swapping system help make this game fun.
Graphics: Awesome! Smooth, bright, LEGO-like…what more could you possibly want?
Story: Awesome! Faithful to the movie, with some comedy relief thrown in to mix things up.
Sound: Awesome! Again, it’s ripped directly from the movie.
Overall: Awesome! Now, young padewan, you will buy.
Since I’m actually writing this at 12:09 as my sis is playing the aforementioned game (hey, what happened to her Christmas presents?!), this review will probably come up later.
Oh, em, whatever. Either way, you have opened a review for LEGO Star Wars: The Original Trilogy! Please stand by as we play your favorite Star Wars hits! (Plays Cantina theme)
20 minutes later…
Well, I can’t say I didn’t have a good Christmas! As for me, I obtained LEGO Star Wars: The Original Trilogy for the Wii on Christmas Eve, as well as borrowed Metroid Prime 3: Corruption from my cousin, assuming I wouldn’t get it the next day (and I didn’t) since Dad said I couldn’t have it until I beat the first two Metroid Primes, and my Christmas shopping was already done by the time I beat them. I’m also going to review Metroid Prime 3, but I intend to get a little farther on it first.
On the next day, I got an UNIMAGINABLE amount of presents! From NiGHTS Journey of Dreams to The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass, from Sonic and the Secret Rings to Super Mario Galaxy, from Dirge of Cerberus -Final Fantasy VII- to Sonic Rush Adventure, the list kept on going, far, far beyond what I just put, and even such surprises as a LAN Adapter for my Wii so I could go online (my wireless is messed up) and Beyond Good and Evil. While there was no Metroid Prime 3, as I surmised, I had borrowed that the day before and intended to keep it until my birthday, which comes in January, by the way (man, that’s a lot of presents), and then I’d buy it with my birthday money.
Of course, I haven’t gotten very far on LEGO Star Wars (especially since my sis saved over my file, dang it). Ah, well. Oh, and by the way, I got the Wii version. Also, I have only seen the first movie (first movie chronologically, but I HAVE seen part of Episode IV), and I remember very little of it, so don’t expect many Star Wars-related jokes. So, let’s start at the beginning:
Once upon a time, in a home far, far away, there was a boy named T-Man who thought that the original LEGO Star Wars looked like crap. After seeing that his cousin had borrowed it and had seen it on Cheat!, he was fairly interested. Though he never got LEGO Star Wars I or II, he saw LEGO Star Wars: The Complete Saga as his chance, and thus, he put it on his Christmas list, and got it for Christmas. That was when he put it in his cousin’s Wii (he hadn’t brought his) and tried it out.
So, it’s Star Wars, right? Yeah, we got that down. Well, Star Wars games have a reputation for being notoriously…unappealing to me. Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic was particularly boring, and I think its sequel looks better (mainly because of the new Lightsaber colors, hehe), but since I didn’t find the first one very good, I don’t have very high expectations, and besides, those games were bought for my dad anyway. Jedi Knight Academy was much better and more exciting than Knights of the Old Republic, but still wasn’t good enough to buy (my cousin had borrowed that from my other cousin, so I played 2-player with him). Then there was LEGO Star Wars, which, after seeing it in action, I thought looked fun.
The game is actually both LEGO Star Wars I and II with extra levels and characters put on a Wii disc. While this game DOES have more content than most games combined would normally have, I’m not sure that it has very much, since I haven’t played the others. Thus, if you have LEGO Star Wars I and II, then you’d best check with other sources to see if there’s enough new content in it to buy it.
Once I started a New Game, I was pretty clueless as to where to go. You are dropped in the hub with Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kinobi (argh, what’s with the names?!) with no insight on where you need to go. While I’d have liked some hints on what to do next, I like the hub. It’s a good place to stock up on Studs (the currency of the LEGO Star Wars games), and just have fun destroying stuff. The shop is also here, where you can buy Golden Bricks, new characters, hints, and other things using Studs. Ahead are the Episode hubs, which are each divided into chapters, so you head into the first movie, and head into the Chapter 1 door when you begin the game. After beating the first chapter, you can now freely play all six movies, but you have to complete them chapter by chapter. Also, upon beating the first chapter, you’ll discover that the game has a REDICULOUS amount of content. When you complete the level, you’ll get a Golden Brick--two if you become a True Jedi by getting enough Studs. There is a counter for Golden Bricks, and it shows that there are 160 in the game. Also, when you unlock the Droid character after that stage, you’ll see about a billion unused character slots…
As with all Wii games, there is the matter of control. Well, I can’t say the Wii version of LEGO Star Wars: The Complete Saga doesn’t put the Wii Remote to good use. The Wii Remote is used mainly for swing Lightsabers (and slapping people for blaster-wielding characters like Padme), and little (if anything) else. But, of course, this is more fun than using just buttons on a controller, and, thus, I can recommend the Wii version over the 360 and PS3 versions just because of that! The control isn’t terribly responsive, but not painfully irresponsive either, and I doubt most players will have a problem with it. The button control maps up with the controller nicely. A is jump, B draws your weapon (and let’s you use it if you’re playing as a character with a blaster), Z uses your Force powers to allow you to solve puzzles, uncover hidden Studs, and even build things with LEGOS, and C allows you to switch characters.
Speaking of which, I found the system of character-switching unique. If you approach a character who is accompanying you, such as Obi-Wan Kinobi or Annikan Skywalker, you can press C to switch with that character and play as that character. While Obi-Wan is pretty much a second skin for Qui-Gon Jinn (in the first episode, at least), the other characters have special abilities that you can use to your advantage. For instance, since in the first movie, Annikan Skywalker is a kid, you can crawl into tight spaces with him, and blaster-wielding characters like Queen Amidala can use grappling hooks to go to previously unreachable places. You experience this in the first stage almost immediately, in which the Droid TC-14 (I think that’s what he’s called) is your only method of getting past doors activated by LEGO Panels. In the next stage, Jar-Jar further delves into this concept, as he jumps higher than Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan and therefore must be used to get to areas that Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan can’t reach.
In the graphical department, as far as games with characters based on LEGOS go, it’s pretty good. Obviously revamped from the original graphics (from what I’ve seen), they’re smoother, brighter, and more colorful. It has a consistent FPS, and there are few, if any, graphical glitches. The character models look like real Star Wars LEGOS have been transported into a stop motion version of the movies.
As for the story, the game stays pretty faithful to the movies as far as I’ve heard, with more levels corresponding to the movies’ plots. The game is also a laugh-induser, like the last ones. Voice acting is absent, but it doesn’t really need it. Top it off with all six movies, and you’ve got a great Star Wars game.
Sound-wise, not only does it feel like Star Wars, but it also sounds like Star Wars. The laser-shooting effect is ripped directly from the movies, as is the Lightsaber sound effect. The music is also directly ripped from the movies, but all I’ve noticed is the opening theme.
So, yeah, go buy this if you like Star Wars. If not, buy it for your kids if they like Star Wars. This is a good, family-oriented gift for any age.
---------------Summary----------------
Gameplay: Awesome! Fun Wii controls and a unique character-swapping system help make this game fun.
Graphics: Awesome! Smooth, bright, LEGO-like…what more could you possibly want?
Story: Awesome! Faithful to the movie, with some comedy relief thrown in to mix things up.
Sound: Awesome! Again, it’s ripped directly from the movie.
Overall: Awesome! Now, young padewan, you will buy.
Ahhh…if you are over 30, then you probably watched Alvin and the Chipmunks when you were little. Those of you kids my age who might be reading the site probably have only heard of the movie, which has recently come on in theaters. Well, Alvin and the Chipmunks were a novelty band started around 1958 by Mr. Ross Bagdasarian. He sped up his own voice to sound like the Chipmunks, Alvin, Simon, and Theodore, after which he put them on an album. The Chipmunks also had a caretaker named Dave Seville.
This whole Chipmunk thing came to be with the song, The Witch Doctor, where Ross sped up his voice in some parts, particularly when the Witch Doctor was talking. Everybody thought it was creative, so he created The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don’t Be Late), which you may have heard on the radio on your way home from school before Christmas Break began (awesome that Christmas Break has begun, isn’t it?). Then, he started speeding up songs, giving the Chipmunks their own versions of famous songs! Today, other people do it, and it’s a common practice on YouTube, but this ultimately ruins the songs. Sadly, my sister (who’s only 5 by the way) loves it, particularly Thnks Fr the Mmmrs, and plays it all the time, annoying me and my father to death. These singing chipmunks branched out into animation with The Alvin Show in the 60’s and Alvin and the Chipmunks in the 80’s.
How do I know this, being 11 years old, you ask? Research, and I could occasionally catch Alvin and the Chipmunks on Cartoon Network before they stopped showing it. I’ve also seen Alvin and the Chipmunks Meet Frankenstein and Alvin and the Chipmunks Meet the Wolf-Man.
Well, fast forward to Christmastime, 2007, when the new movie, Alvin and the Chipmunks, comes on, starring Ross Bagdasarian’s three little dudes. Featuring the new, more sophisticated style of humor, it’s a new look for the Chipmunks. They actually look more like real chipmunks this time around. They’re tiny, cute, CGI animated…what more couldja want?
The movie is hilarious. It deals with how Dave Seville is having trouble with his record company, since every song he writes is absolutely terrible, and no one would cover it. Then, he meets the chipmunk trio, who had their tree they were storing food in cut down during the Christmas tree craze, and stowed away in his goodie basked after escaping from the record company’s Christmas tree, which ended up being the tree they were storing nuts in. Disaster results, as the chipmunks are unaware that Dave is not exactly willing to share the food he has “stored for winter.” Dave sends them away, but he soon hears their singing talents. Finding this a good chance for someone to cover his songs, he allows them to stay at his house as long as they sing every song he throws at ‘em. Immediately after going to bed, he gets the idea for The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don’t Be Late), and has the chipmunks sing it the next morning. It works well, but his record company isn’t convinced of the chipmunks’ talents when they’re too frightened to sing in front of his manager, Ian. Feeling sorry, they sneak away at night and go to Ian’s house, where they pop out of no where and sing their song. Ian is very impressed, and immediately gives them a record deal. This ultimately leads to disaster, as the more popular they grow, the more Ian tries to convince them that they should live like rock stars and tour around everywhere; not the child life that Dave wants them to live. That’s when the rest of the plot begins to unfold.
The chipmunks’ talents are revealed right away, as the movie opens up with an a capella version of You Had a Bad Day. Further remixes are heard, like Funkytown and some opera. Aside from that, all other chipmunk songs heard are their original work from the good ol’ days, slightly remade for the music of today. These songs reek of “pop radio,” and as you probably know, the pop radio is evil. It is the reason that Fergalicious exists. It’s the reason I Like Big Butts and I Cannot Lie exists. It’s the reason just about every horrible song exists. It’s only every twenty years or so that a cool band like Nickelback or Creed comes around…
As you may have already assumed, this movie also passes as a Christmas movie. While the first Alvin and the Chipmunks movie (there may be a sequel if it does well), it also takes place at Christmastime, reflecting its release. Thus, if you think Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium or Fred Claus looks like crap, but you’re looking for a Christmas movie to see, then this can pass as one, too.
So, if you like the Chipmunks, then by all means, go see this movie. If you’re looking for a fun Christmas musical, then this movie’s also worth watching. If you hate the Chipmunks AND Christmas (bah-humbug), then avoid this movie.
Overall: Awesome! It passes as a fun Christmas movie as well as just an adventure with the Chipmunks.
This whole Chipmunk thing came to be with the song, The Witch Doctor, where Ross sped up his voice in some parts, particularly when the Witch Doctor was talking. Everybody thought it was creative, so he created The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don’t Be Late), which you may have heard on the radio on your way home from school before Christmas Break began (awesome that Christmas Break has begun, isn’t it?). Then, he started speeding up songs, giving the Chipmunks their own versions of famous songs! Today, other people do it, and it’s a common practice on YouTube, but this ultimately ruins the songs. Sadly, my sister (who’s only 5 by the way) loves it, particularly Thnks Fr the Mmmrs, and plays it all the time, annoying me and my father to death. These singing chipmunks branched out into animation with The Alvin Show in the 60’s and Alvin and the Chipmunks in the 80’s.
How do I know this, being 11 years old, you ask? Research, and I could occasionally catch Alvin and the Chipmunks on Cartoon Network before they stopped showing it. I’ve also seen Alvin and the Chipmunks Meet Frankenstein and Alvin and the Chipmunks Meet the Wolf-Man.
Well, fast forward to Christmastime, 2007, when the new movie, Alvin and the Chipmunks, comes on, starring Ross Bagdasarian’s three little dudes. Featuring the new, more sophisticated style of humor, it’s a new look for the Chipmunks. They actually look more like real chipmunks this time around. They’re tiny, cute, CGI animated…what more couldja want?
The movie is hilarious. It deals with how Dave Seville is having trouble with his record company, since every song he writes is absolutely terrible, and no one would cover it. Then, he meets the chipmunk trio, who had their tree they were storing food in cut down during the Christmas tree craze, and stowed away in his goodie basked after escaping from the record company’s Christmas tree, which ended up being the tree they were storing nuts in. Disaster results, as the chipmunks are unaware that Dave is not exactly willing to share the food he has “stored for winter.” Dave sends them away, but he soon hears their singing talents. Finding this a good chance for someone to cover his songs, he allows them to stay at his house as long as they sing every song he throws at ‘em. Immediately after going to bed, he gets the idea for The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don’t Be Late), and has the chipmunks sing it the next morning. It works well, but his record company isn’t convinced of the chipmunks’ talents when they’re too frightened to sing in front of his manager, Ian. Feeling sorry, they sneak away at night and go to Ian’s house, where they pop out of no where and sing their song. Ian is very impressed, and immediately gives them a record deal. This ultimately leads to disaster, as the more popular they grow, the more Ian tries to convince them that they should live like rock stars and tour around everywhere; not the child life that Dave wants them to live. That’s when the rest of the plot begins to unfold.
The chipmunks’ talents are revealed right away, as the movie opens up with an a capella version of You Had a Bad Day. Further remixes are heard, like Funkytown and some opera. Aside from that, all other chipmunk songs heard are their original work from the good ol’ days, slightly remade for the music of today. These songs reek of “pop radio,” and as you probably know, the pop radio is evil. It is the reason that Fergalicious exists. It’s the reason I Like Big Butts and I Cannot Lie exists. It’s the reason just about every horrible song exists. It’s only every twenty years or so that a cool band like Nickelback or Creed comes around…
As you may have already assumed, this movie also passes as a Christmas movie. While the first Alvin and the Chipmunks movie (there may be a sequel if it does well), it also takes place at Christmastime, reflecting its release. Thus, if you think Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium or Fred Claus looks like crap, but you’re looking for a Christmas movie to see, then this can pass as one, too.
So, if you like the Chipmunks, then by all means, go see this movie. If you’re looking for a fun Christmas musical, then this movie’s also worth watching. If you hate the Chipmunks AND Christmas (bah-humbug), then avoid this movie.
Overall: Awesome! It passes as a fun Christmas movie as well as just an adventure with the Chipmunks.
I’m sad…
So sad…
I’m bawling…
Okay, no I’m not….
But I really am sad. Sad because Pearl Jam…they…they’re done. They refuse to be good. Their last good album was Riot Act, and then they crapped out, as I said in my Minutes to Midnight (by Linkin Park) review.
So, what’s bad about this song? EVERYTHING!!! This isn’t like their old songs. This song tells no story. It deals with no subject. It’s just crap. And I will not allow Pearl Jam to change their name to Pearl CRAP!!
Okay, I’m just gonna start from the beginning. My dad said to me that when I was a baby, he used to rock me to sleep with Long Road. Yes, I’ve always been cool. Even today, Pearl Jam stands as one of my favorite bands, maybe even my favorite, ahead of Linkin Park…at least the old Pearl Jam.
Ok, I guess I'm bein' kinda harsh. I mean, MAYBE this song is okay. But it really will never match up to their previous greatness. My favorite songs from Pearl Jam are Even Flow and Given to Fly. Does this even come 10 feet to being close? NO!!!!!!
For one thing, the only lyrics you can actually hear are “Life Wasted!!!” over and over and over. That’s just the beginning! This song deals with nothing real. It’s just Pearl Jam literally wasting their lives with a stupid song! And the song doesn’t even SOUND good! I mean, stupid lyrics don't mean anything, as long as it's well-composed! But it's NOT!!!!!
Anyway, this song is PROOF that when you get older, you’re not very good. This happened to Rolling Stones, too. Maybe Pearl Jam should consider retiring if the rest of their songs aren’t any good. In short, don’t buy this. If you liked Pearl Jam before now, just don’t buy it. You’ll be, forgive the pun, wasting your life. Break out your old albums and singles and listen the fire out of them. I’m sure the single’s already sold too well for Pearl Jam to know how crappy they are, so it’s too late to tell them to go back to basics. But it’s not worth the 10 bucks anyway, so just leave it if you liked old Pearl Jam.
Overall: Crappy. Pearl Jam, stop being mediocre and be good again. Please.
I have decided not to do the end-of-the-year award ceremony, since I'm obviously not going to get any e-mails. Besides, I think I was also supposed to pick something almost on par with the best and worst stuff, so the people would have more variety. Maybe if my site is more popular next year, I'll do it.
So sad…
I’m bawling…
Okay, no I’m not….
But I really am sad. Sad because Pearl Jam…they…they’re done. They refuse to be good. Their last good album was Riot Act, and then they crapped out, as I said in my Minutes to Midnight (by Linkin Park) review.
So, what’s bad about this song? EVERYTHING!!! This isn’t like their old songs. This song tells no story. It deals with no subject. It’s just crap. And I will not allow Pearl Jam to change their name to Pearl CRAP!!
Okay, I’m just gonna start from the beginning. My dad said to me that when I was a baby, he used to rock me to sleep with Long Road. Yes, I’ve always been cool. Even today, Pearl Jam stands as one of my favorite bands, maybe even my favorite, ahead of Linkin Park…at least the old Pearl Jam.
Ok, I guess I'm bein' kinda harsh. I mean, MAYBE this song is okay. But it really will never match up to their previous greatness. My favorite songs from Pearl Jam are Even Flow and Given to Fly. Does this even come 10 feet to being close? NO!!!!!!
For one thing, the only lyrics you can actually hear are “Life Wasted!!!” over and over and over. That’s just the beginning! This song deals with nothing real. It’s just Pearl Jam literally wasting their lives with a stupid song! And the song doesn’t even SOUND good! I mean, stupid lyrics don't mean anything, as long as it's well-composed! But it's NOT!!!!!
Anyway, this song is PROOF that when you get older, you’re not very good. This happened to Rolling Stones, too. Maybe Pearl Jam should consider retiring if the rest of their songs aren’t any good. In short, don’t buy this. If you liked Pearl Jam before now, just don’t buy it. You’ll be, forgive the pun, wasting your life. Break out your old albums and singles and listen the fire out of them. I’m sure the single’s already sold too well for Pearl Jam to know how crappy they are, so it’s too late to tell them to go back to basics. But it’s not worth the 10 bucks anyway, so just leave it if you liked old Pearl Jam.
Overall: Crappy. Pearl Jam, stop being mediocre and be good again. Please.
I have decided not to do the end-of-the-year award ceremony, since I'm obviously not going to get any e-mails. Besides, I think I was also supposed to pick something almost on par with the best and worst stuff, so the people would have more variety. Maybe if my site is more popular next year, I'll do it.
T-Man's CD Player: Big Girls Don't Cry (Fergie) Review
Published Sunday, December 16, 2007 by T-Man.
Hmmm…what’s this now? A good song? From Fergie, the same person who created the apparent hit single Fergalicious? Is the world about to blow?
Yes, people, I’ve heard Fergalicious. And yes, I hate it. Very much. So much, in fact, that I hereby declare it the second worst song ever made, next to Aqua’s hit from yesteryear, Barbie Girl. While Fergie didn’t manage to achieve her goal of being as horrible as that, she managed to be, emm…pretty horrible (no offense to all you Fergie fans out here). Of course, this isn’t a review for Fergalicious. It’s a review for one of her latest hit single, Big Girls Don’t Cry, which is actually pretty good.
It made the headlines of the newspapers today: FERGIE TAKES A BREAK FROM RAPPING AND TAKES A MORE ACOUSTIC APPROACH. What?! Can this be?! OK, OK, my disbelief aside, Big Girls Don’t Cry is good and rap-free. The way I see it, it tells the story of how she wants to leave her boyfriend, and explaining why. She is sad because of this decision, but it’s something she must do to gain privacy. It’s honestly her softest and BEST song so far. Of course, I doubt I have much right to say that since the only song of hers that I’ve ever heard is, you guessed it, Fergalicious.
So, if you like Fergie’s music so far, but also have a taste for acoustic, soft music, then this single is a definite buy. If you hate Fergie’s music, but still have a taste for acoustic, then wait till you hear it on the radio, then make your final decision. I never bought it; I’ve just heard it.
Overall: Pretty Good. By far Fergie’s best song. Keep it up, girl.
Yes, people, I’ve heard Fergalicious. And yes, I hate it. Very much. So much, in fact, that I hereby declare it the second worst song ever made, next to Aqua’s hit from yesteryear, Barbie Girl. While Fergie didn’t manage to achieve her goal of being as horrible as that, she managed to be, emm…pretty horrible (no offense to all you Fergie fans out here). Of course, this isn’t a review for Fergalicious. It’s a review for one of her latest hit single, Big Girls Don’t Cry, which is actually pretty good.
It made the headlines of the newspapers today: FERGIE TAKES A BREAK FROM RAPPING AND TAKES A MORE ACOUSTIC APPROACH. What?! Can this be?! OK, OK, my disbelief aside, Big Girls Don’t Cry is good and rap-free. The way I see it, it tells the story of how she wants to leave her boyfriend, and explaining why. She is sad because of this decision, but it’s something she must do to gain privacy. It’s honestly her softest and BEST song so far. Of course, I doubt I have much right to say that since the only song of hers that I’ve ever heard is, you guessed it, Fergalicious.
So, if you like Fergie’s music so far, but also have a taste for acoustic, soft music, then this single is a definite buy. If you hate Fergie’s music, but still have a taste for acoustic, then wait till you hear it on the radio, then make your final decision. I never bought it; I’ve just heard it.
Overall: Pretty Good. By far Fergie’s best song. Keep it up, girl.
My Poseable Master Chief Action Figure Whose Gun I Lost
Published Friday, December 14, 2007 by T-Man.
Ahem. I have prepared a poem as a tribute to the Halo series. It is called My Poseable Master Chief Action Figure Whose Gun I Lost:
As I type this post
Right beside me
Sits an action figure
Named Master Chief,
But I call him
My Poseable Master Chief Action Figure Whose Gun I Lost.
An M-rating given to his game
Most of what I know is his name,
His friend (Cortana),
His gunning down of Covenant and Fludd,
His destroying of Halos,
And, most, importantly, his face.
The face of
My Poseable Master Chief Action Figure Whose Gun I Lost.
Well, no…I’ve never seen that,
But I still know a lot for one unable to play Halo.
It was Christmas, 2006
When I was 10.
I tore open the shiny paper
And right then
I gasped at what I saw:
My Poseable Master Chief Action Figure Whose Gun I Lost.
His gun wasn’t lost at first,
But it was only a matter of time
So small, that gun
Disappeared beneath the waves of sorrow.
But he still loved me:
My Poseable Master Chief Action Figure Whose Gun I Lost.
Let me take a second
To stroke its suit
It’s like Samus’s, but green.
It’s like Samus’s, but manly.
It’s like Samus’s…but a boy’s inside it, not a girl.
The suit of
My Poseable Master Chief Action Figure Whose Gun I Lost.
I twist his arm
It pretends to feel pain
I twist his leg
It screams
It wants to be more human
So a fairy will come
And turn him into a real Spartan soldier
That’s because
He’s My Poseable Master Chief Action Figure Whose Gun I Lost.
I sleep with him at night
I pet him in the morning
We play some Metroid Prime Hunters multiplayer,
Because I’m not allowed to play HIS game,
The game of
My Poseable Master Chief Action Figure Whose Gun I Lost.
Right now, he looks up at me
His helmet’s front glistening with the light’s reflection
He says, “Stop writing and leave me alone,”
But I know that when he says that,
He means, “I love you.”
And thus, I am about to hug him,
My Poseable Master Chief Action Figure Whose Gun I Lost,
As hard as I can.
He pretends to beg me not to,
But I know that he just wants me
To do it harder.
So, bye
Cause we need a moment alone…
(CRUNCH!)
OH NO, I BROKE HIM!!!! (Bawls)
Like my site? Let me know! E-mail me at tmansgames at gmail.com!
As I type this post
Right beside me
Sits an action figure
Named Master Chief,
But I call him
My Poseable Master Chief Action Figure Whose Gun I Lost.
An M-rating given to his game
Most of what I know is his name,
His friend (Cortana),
His gunning down of Covenant and Fludd,
His destroying of Halos,
And, most, importantly, his face.
The face of
My Poseable Master Chief Action Figure Whose Gun I Lost.
Well, no…I’ve never seen that,
But I still know a lot for one unable to play Halo.
It was Christmas, 2006
When I was 10.
I tore open the shiny paper
And right then
I gasped at what I saw:
My Poseable Master Chief Action Figure Whose Gun I Lost.
His gun wasn’t lost at first,
But it was only a matter of time
So small, that gun
Disappeared beneath the waves of sorrow.
But he still loved me:
My Poseable Master Chief Action Figure Whose Gun I Lost.
Let me take a second
To stroke its suit
It’s like Samus’s, but green.
It’s like Samus’s, but manly.
It’s like Samus’s…but a boy’s inside it, not a girl.
The suit of
My Poseable Master Chief Action Figure Whose Gun I Lost.
I twist his arm
It pretends to feel pain
I twist his leg
It screams
It wants to be more human
So a fairy will come
And turn him into a real Spartan soldier
That’s because
He’s My Poseable Master Chief Action Figure Whose Gun I Lost.
I sleep with him at night
I pet him in the morning
We play some Metroid Prime Hunters multiplayer,
Because I’m not allowed to play HIS game,
The game of
My Poseable Master Chief Action Figure Whose Gun I Lost.
Right now, he looks up at me
His helmet’s front glistening with the light’s reflection
He says, “Stop writing and leave me alone,”
But I know that when he says that,
He means, “I love you.”
And thus, I am about to hug him,
My Poseable Master Chief Action Figure Whose Gun I Lost,
As hard as I can.
He pretends to beg me not to,
But I know that he just wants me
To do it harder.
So, bye
Cause we need a moment alone…
(CRUNCH!)
OH NO, I BROKE HIM!!!! (Bawls)
Like my site? Let me know! E-mail me at tmansgames at gmail.com!
The fuuun has arrriiiiiiived! Thank you very much! Anyway, I recently got Mario Party 8 and Wii Play. The plan was to try to get Mario Party 8 and Wii Play off eBay with my sister’s birthday money, since Wii Play would come with an extra Wii Remote for MP8, and sounded pretty cool itself. The designated dates were October 3rd (for Wii Play) and October 8th (for Mario Party). Erratically, Mario Party ended up coming on Octobrt 3rd, much to our disdain, and we wouldn’t see Wii Play until about a week later. My sister, Emma, claimed Mario Party, and therefore, instead of being able to play a nice game by myself, I had to constantly let Emma play between turns. While Emma was playing her turns, I got into other things, and then instead let her play the whole game. When Wii Play came, the first thing I was excited about was playing Mario Party 8 without having to take turns with Emma, but I also thought that since we had Wii Play, we might as well play it.
And that was when the fun begun.
I will give individual ratings for the different games. These ratings do not count toward an average.
Me and my sister started a two-player game. Since, it turns out, when first starting, you have to play the games in order, we started with the shooting game.
Shooting Range: In this game, you use the Wii Remote to shoot various things. On level one, you have to shoot balloons that come up from the grass. On level 2, you have to shoot many targets. Golden targets are worth five points, while if you hit a target with the picture of your Mii, you lose a few, but if you shoot the target with the picture of the opposing player’s Mii, you get 3 points. On level 3, you have to shoot plates that fly off into the distance, and on level 4, you have to shoot cans and try to keep them from falling into the grass until you shoot them five times. And on the final level…I wouldn’t want to spoil it for you! Ducks will also randomly appear, and if you shoot them, you can get a lot of points! Anyway, it’s really fun, and is my favorite.
Rating: Pure Greatness
Find Mii: In this game, you have to perform certain tasks revolving around touching the correct Miis to get points. For instance, the game will tell you to “Find however many look-alikes!” or “Find however many odd Miis out!” It’s kind of hard, but really fun.
Rating: Awesome
Table Tennis: This game, as you can well imagine, is a rousing game of table tennis. First to 11 points wins. Just deflect the ball back and if the ball gets outside the opposing player’s section, you get a point. Not as good as some of the others, but still pretty good.
Rating: Pretty Good
Pose Mii: This game is my second favorite. You have to strike the correct poses and twist the Wii Remote to center yourself in the bubbles with the outline of that pose. I can’t go into much depth on this, but it’s super fun.
Rating: Pure Greatness
Laser Hockey: This game is a laser version of air hockey. You can twist the Wii Remote to turn the thing you use to hit the ball with. Even though it’s CALLED laser hockey…it reminds me more of Pong (even though I have never played that, due to my young age). Either way, it’s pretty fun.
Rating: Awesome
Fishing: More like cartoon fishing. The fish are all hand-drawn. Still, it’s fun. You have to wait until you get a good bite to pull your Wii Remote up. There’s also a random bonus fish. A warning: try not to catch the “Small Fry,” or you’ll lose 50 points!
Rating: Awesome
Billiards: If you know the rules of pool, then you know the rules of this game. Anyway, this is my least favorite, but it’s still OK.
Rating: Pretty Good
Charge!: Easily my third favorite. You ride a stuffed cow (you heard me; a stuffed cow) and have to charge into as many scarecrows as you can before time runs out or you reach the finish line. For this game, you’ll be holding the Wii Remote sideways. To accelerate, tilt the Wii Remote forward. To decelerate, tilt it backward. Quickly raise it up to jump over obstacles. You can tilt the control stick left and right to move. Overall, it’s great fun.
Rating: Pure Greatness
Tanks: Another really good one. You use the D-Pad or Nunchuk to move your tank around, and attempt to destroy other tanks. The B Button shoots missiles. But be warned; one hit destroys your own tank!
Rating: Awesome
Well, that was a nice overview of all nine games. I won’t go into detail on any other categories since the game doesn’t put much emphasis on them.
Sadly, I have figured out that Wii Play got a less-than-flattering reception. So, it’s up to you and me to give this game the appreciation it deserves! Be sure to pick this game up, especially if you have a brother or sister! This game is fun for the whole family!
Overall: Awesome! Lots of fun for everyone!
And that was when the fun begun.
I will give individual ratings for the different games. These ratings do not count toward an average.
Me and my sister started a two-player game. Since, it turns out, when first starting, you have to play the games in order, we started with the shooting game.
Shooting Range: In this game, you use the Wii Remote to shoot various things. On level one, you have to shoot balloons that come up from the grass. On level 2, you have to shoot many targets. Golden targets are worth five points, while if you hit a target with the picture of your Mii, you lose a few, but if you shoot the target with the picture of the opposing player’s Mii, you get 3 points. On level 3, you have to shoot plates that fly off into the distance, and on level 4, you have to shoot cans and try to keep them from falling into the grass until you shoot them five times. And on the final level…I wouldn’t want to spoil it for you! Ducks will also randomly appear, and if you shoot them, you can get a lot of points! Anyway, it’s really fun, and is my favorite.
Rating: Pure Greatness
Find Mii: In this game, you have to perform certain tasks revolving around touching the correct Miis to get points. For instance, the game will tell you to “Find however many look-alikes!” or “Find however many odd Miis out!” It’s kind of hard, but really fun.
Rating: Awesome
Table Tennis: This game, as you can well imagine, is a rousing game of table tennis. First to 11 points wins. Just deflect the ball back and if the ball gets outside the opposing player’s section, you get a point. Not as good as some of the others, but still pretty good.
Rating: Pretty Good
Pose Mii: This game is my second favorite. You have to strike the correct poses and twist the Wii Remote to center yourself in the bubbles with the outline of that pose. I can’t go into much depth on this, but it’s super fun.
Rating: Pure Greatness
Laser Hockey: This game is a laser version of air hockey. You can twist the Wii Remote to turn the thing you use to hit the ball with. Even though it’s CALLED laser hockey…it reminds me more of Pong (even though I have never played that, due to my young age). Either way, it’s pretty fun.
Rating: Awesome
Fishing: More like cartoon fishing. The fish are all hand-drawn. Still, it’s fun. You have to wait until you get a good bite to pull your Wii Remote up. There’s also a random bonus fish. A warning: try not to catch the “Small Fry,” or you’ll lose 50 points!
Rating: Awesome
Billiards: If you know the rules of pool, then you know the rules of this game. Anyway, this is my least favorite, but it’s still OK.
Rating: Pretty Good
Charge!: Easily my third favorite. You ride a stuffed cow (you heard me; a stuffed cow) and have to charge into as many scarecrows as you can before time runs out or you reach the finish line. For this game, you’ll be holding the Wii Remote sideways. To accelerate, tilt the Wii Remote forward. To decelerate, tilt it backward. Quickly raise it up to jump over obstacles. You can tilt the control stick left and right to move. Overall, it’s great fun.
Rating: Pure Greatness
Tanks: Another really good one. You use the D-Pad or Nunchuk to move your tank around, and attempt to destroy other tanks. The B Button shoots missiles. But be warned; one hit destroys your own tank!
Rating: Awesome
Well, that was a nice overview of all nine games. I won’t go into detail on any other categories since the game doesn’t put much emphasis on them.
Sadly, I have figured out that Wii Play got a less-than-flattering reception. So, it’s up to you and me to give this game the appreciation it deserves! Be sure to pick this game up, especially if you have a brother or sister! This game is fun for the whole family!
Overall: Awesome! Lots of fun for everyone!
T-Man's CD Player: Minutes to Midnight (Linkin Park) Review
Published Wednesday, December 12, 2007 by T-Man.
Of course, I had to go into music reviews sometime, didn’t I? Well, whatever. So, I got Linkin Park’s new album, Minutes to Midnight, and I thought it would be good to share my opinion of it. Well, Minutes to Midnight is Linkin Park’s first attempt at moving away from its previous nu metal format, and, ultimately…they turn mediocre in the process. Since some songs had curse words in them, I had to skip a few, but I still heard enough to tell you one thing:
Linkin Park has gone to the dark side.
Yes, remember seven years ago when they struck gold with their breakthrough album, Hybrid Theory? This album put such songs as Papercut, One Step Closer, and Crawling (my personal favorite) in the mainstream’s attention. As a result, their next three releases, Reanimation, Meteora, and Collision Course received good sales and released hit singles such as Numb and Somewhere I Belong.
Then Linkin Park began work on something new.
According to Wikipedia, they grew tired of the nu metal format and went for a softer and more melody-like direction.
Yeah, big mistake, guys.
This decision led to many a whiny and cheesy song along the lines of How Could This Happen to Me? which ultimately reeked of an 8th grader’s journal. These songs are a bit more mature than that, but are still whiny and dumb enough to fall into this category, that I refer to as “wah songs.”
Okay, maybe I’m being a bit harsh on Minutes to Midnight. I mean, it’s not a good album. Especially for a band like Linkin Park. But it’s still not that bad. Still, mediocrity is not of Linkin Park’s nature (aside from Cure for the Itch and Enth E End. Ugh.), as it wasn’t of Pearl Jam’s before they crapped out. It’s just like their transition from good to bad: one day they’re awesome, and the next, they’re so mediocre their fans are frothing at their door. It’s just like that, and just as disappointing. And it would have been better if they had included more guitar in their songs.
Let’s get down to business, now. The album opens with Wake, a short intro similar to Meteora’s Foreword. This ultimately leads into Given Up, which I didn’t listen to because of the cursing in it. So, instead, I started with Leave Out All the Rest, the second song. This song should have had the word “wah” written all over it. And what’s worse: no guitar! I really liked Linkin Park because of their awesome combination of rock and rapping. That was one of the things that made them awesome. But this entire album got rid of it entirely. Madness. This doesn’t change in Shadow of the Day, which doesn’t even sound like them at all!
You are given a nice breath of fresh air from these “wah” songs with What I’ve Done. It’s still different, but in a good way. It’s a bit closer to their previous songs, with some rock guitar, and a nu metal sound. In fact, the lyrics seem to be talking about them realizing the mediocrity of most of the album! Too bad that’s not true…
Soon after, No More Sorrow is played. This is more of a heavy metal song than the others, and, like What I've Done, isn't as whiny as most of the songs on this album. Having sat on tack that wedged itself firmly in his buttcrack, Chester Bennington was forced to play with this consistant pain in his butthole, and thus, he had his teeth clenched throughout the entire song, it seems, except for when he was doing his trademark screaming, and didn't notice that he had sat on tack before they were done recording. But, one thing to note here: this song’s great! It’s not as good as What I’ve Done, but it’s still at least five times better than most of the stuff on this album!
Sadly, these moments of glory are short, as Valentine’s Day, played right after, is even whinier than the last ones! In Between, the following song, is a solo for Mike Shinado, who usually raps during the songs. Thing is, it’s still whiny as a baby! And dare I mention that Mike Shinado sounds kinda girly when he sings? (No offense, dude) Then, the last two songs, In Pieces and These Little Things Give You Away play, which are no different from the last songs in terms of whinyness and rock-lessness.
So, sadly, I must say that most songs on this album are along the lines of How Could This Happen to Me? in whineyness and cheesiness alike, its only redeeming songs What I’ve Done and No More Sorrow (and, in retrospect, Bleed It Out, because I’ve heard the censored radio version and liked it). I must advise that you do not buy it, but instead buy the singles What I’ve Done and Bleed It Out and leave the album in the store to be bought by a gothic Linkin Park fan. No More Sorrow didn’t make it into a single, so if you want to hear it, you’ll have to download it off iTunes. The only case scenario in which I would recommend you buy this album is if you liked How Could This Happen to Me?
…Which probably isn’t the case…
Good Songs:
+ Bleed It Out
+ What I’ve Done
+ No More Sorrow
Bad Songs:
- Leave Out All the Rest
- Shadow of the Day
- Valentine’s Day
- In Between
- In Pieces
- These Little Things That Give You Away
Overall Rating: Crappy. Hope for their next album to return to their roots.
Linkin Park has gone to the dark side.
Yes, remember seven years ago when they struck gold with their breakthrough album, Hybrid Theory? This album put such songs as Papercut, One Step Closer, and Crawling (my personal favorite) in the mainstream’s attention. As a result, their next three releases, Reanimation, Meteora, and Collision Course received good sales and released hit singles such as Numb and Somewhere I Belong.
Then Linkin Park began work on something new.
According to Wikipedia, they grew tired of the nu metal format and went for a softer and more melody-like direction.
Yeah, big mistake, guys.
This decision led to many a whiny and cheesy song along the lines of How Could This Happen to Me? which ultimately reeked of an 8th grader’s journal. These songs are a bit more mature than that, but are still whiny and dumb enough to fall into this category, that I refer to as “wah songs.”
Okay, maybe I’m being a bit harsh on Minutes to Midnight. I mean, it’s not a good album. Especially for a band like Linkin Park. But it’s still not that bad. Still, mediocrity is not of Linkin Park’s nature (aside from Cure for the Itch and Enth E End. Ugh.), as it wasn’t of Pearl Jam’s before they crapped out. It’s just like their transition from good to bad: one day they’re awesome, and the next, they’re so mediocre their fans are frothing at their door. It’s just like that, and just as disappointing. And it would have been better if they had included more guitar in their songs.
Let’s get down to business, now. The album opens with Wake, a short intro similar to Meteora’s Foreword. This ultimately leads into Given Up, which I didn’t listen to because of the cursing in it. So, instead, I started with Leave Out All the Rest, the second song. This song should have had the word “wah” written all over it. And what’s worse: no guitar! I really liked Linkin Park because of their awesome combination of rock and rapping. That was one of the things that made them awesome. But this entire album got rid of it entirely. Madness. This doesn’t change in Shadow of the Day, which doesn’t even sound like them at all!
You are given a nice breath of fresh air from these “wah” songs with What I’ve Done. It’s still different, but in a good way. It’s a bit closer to their previous songs, with some rock guitar, and a nu metal sound. In fact, the lyrics seem to be talking about them realizing the mediocrity of most of the album! Too bad that’s not true…
Soon after, No More Sorrow is played. This is more of a heavy metal song than the others, and, like What I've Done, isn't as whiny as most of the songs on this album. Having sat on tack that wedged itself firmly in his buttcrack, Chester Bennington was forced to play with this consistant pain in his butthole, and thus, he had his teeth clenched throughout the entire song, it seems, except for when he was doing his trademark screaming, and didn't notice that he had sat on tack before they were done recording. But, one thing to note here: this song’s great! It’s not as good as What I’ve Done, but it’s still at least five times better than most of the stuff on this album!
Sadly, these moments of glory are short, as Valentine’s Day, played right after, is even whinier than the last ones! In Between, the following song, is a solo for Mike Shinado, who usually raps during the songs. Thing is, it’s still whiny as a baby! And dare I mention that Mike Shinado sounds kinda girly when he sings? (No offense, dude) Then, the last two songs, In Pieces and These Little Things Give You Away play, which are no different from the last songs in terms of whinyness and rock-lessness.
So, sadly, I must say that most songs on this album are along the lines of How Could This Happen to Me? in whineyness and cheesiness alike, its only redeeming songs What I’ve Done and No More Sorrow (and, in retrospect, Bleed It Out, because I’ve heard the censored radio version and liked it). I must advise that you do not buy it, but instead buy the singles What I’ve Done and Bleed It Out and leave the album in the store to be bought by a gothic Linkin Park fan. No More Sorrow didn’t make it into a single, so if you want to hear it, you’ll have to download it off iTunes. The only case scenario in which I would recommend you buy this album is if you liked How Could This Happen to Me?
…Which probably isn’t the case…
Good Songs:
+ Bleed It Out
+ What I’ve Done
+ No More Sorrow
Bad Songs:
- Leave Out All the Rest
- Shadow of the Day
- Valentine’s Day
- In Between
- In Pieces
- These Little Things That Give You Away
Overall Rating: Crappy. Hope for their next album to return to their roots.
lol its m3 7-m4n
If you were me, would you say something similar? Let's hope not! Leet speak, otherwise known as l33t sp34k, 1337 sp34k, or, as my family calls it, “i hav n0 gir1fri3nd sp34k” (I have no girlfriend speak for those of us who speak English), or “sheep speak,” along with emoticons and smilies are an ongoing problem on Internet forums and YouTube video comments. Although there ARE some people, such as me, and hopefully you, who speak actual, real English, some people will go on an Internet forum and say something stupid like, “omg im teh uber 1337,” or “lol ur f5nny.”
Okay, let’s face it. There are SOME cases when it’s okay. On the 4Kids forum, at least 80% of kids would rather say ‘u’ instead of ‘you,’ or “omg” instead of “Oh my gosh,” “XD” instead of “Yay!” or “lol” instead of “Ha!” They’re usually kids ages 9-12, and that’s okay. Whenever one of my friends e-mails me, he always uses leet. He’s not an adult, so that’s okay. Or you can do it when making fun of it, like I am. But most people 18 and up are making a grave mistake. This can tell us English-speakers many things about that person:
He is probably about 42 years old, and his computer is your only friend. He lives in his mother’s basement, but she constantly nags him to get married and leave the house. Sadly, he can’t, because every girl he talks to slaps him in the face in a “Ren Hoek” style while screaming, “You eediot!”
No one wants to be thought of like that, so why use leet if it just makes the person using it look like a big nerd in front of the entire world?
And why do we call it sheep speak, you ask? Because, when someone uses it, that person is being a sheep. That is, he or she being herded by everyone else on the Internet because they think it’s cool. Well, remember this: it’s not, especially if it’s just because they use it.
So, what’s wrong with emoticons and smilies? Why do they fall into the category of leet? Because, they derive from the same thing: Internet lingo. They are very stupid and should not be used by any sane adult on the Internet. Sadly, most people endorse them, as evidenced by the annoying spam thing that pops up at the top of just about every website. Just the simple fact that it says “Helloooooooo!” every time you roll over it will tell you that THIS is the universal symbol of the Internet.
Or is it this….?
XD
Heck, it could even be the title of this post. Perhaps even all three! Whatever it is, it is stupid and horrible and should never be used, except in my case, since I’m making fun of it.
So, yes, I’ve made my point. Some people at the time of me writing this may be posting ‘XD’ as a comment in a YouTube video. Some people may be screaming ‘OMG’ at a new car for that person's sixteenth birthday (girls only). Some people may be screaming “W00t” every time he or she frags someone on Halo 3. Some people may be yelling ‘PWN3T’ in place of “W00t,” and some people may even be screaming ‘N00b’ in the headset so loud that the TV explodes. If you say or type anything like this, or know anyone who does, keep this in mind:
When you say you're "teh uber 1337," then you're basically saying you're "teh uber l0zr."
Like my site? Let me know! E-mail me at tmansgames at gmail.com!
If you were me, would you say something similar? Let's hope not! Leet speak, otherwise known as l33t sp34k, 1337 sp34k, or, as my family calls it, “i hav n0 gir1fri3nd sp34k” (I have no girlfriend speak for those of us who speak English), or “sheep speak,” along with emoticons and smilies are an ongoing problem on Internet forums and YouTube video comments. Although there ARE some people, such as me, and hopefully you, who speak actual, real English, some people will go on an Internet forum and say something stupid like, “omg im teh uber 1337,” or “lol ur f5nny.”
Okay, let’s face it. There are SOME cases when it’s okay. On the 4Kids forum, at least 80% of kids would rather say ‘u’ instead of ‘you,’ or “omg” instead of “Oh my gosh,” “XD” instead of “Yay!” or “lol” instead of “Ha!” They’re usually kids ages 9-12, and that’s okay. Whenever one of my friends e-mails me, he always uses leet. He’s not an adult, so that’s okay. Or you can do it when making fun of it, like I am. But most people 18 and up are making a grave mistake. This can tell us English-speakers many things about that person:
He is probably about 42 years old, and his computer is your only friend. He lives in his mother’s basement, but she constantly nags him to get married and leave the house. Sadly, he can’t, because every girl he talks to slaps him in the face in a “Ren Hoek” style while screaming, “You eediot!”
No one wants to be thought of like that, so why use leet if it just makes the person using it look like a big nerd in front of the entire world?
And why do we call it sheep speak, you ask? Because, when someone uses it, that person is being a sheep. That is, he or she being herded by everyone else on the Internet because they think it’s cool. Well, remember this: it’s not, especially if it’s just because they use it.
So, what’s wrong with emoticons and smilies? Why do they fall into the category of leet? Because, they derive from the same thing: Internet lingo. They are very stupid and should not be used by any sane adult on the Internet. Sadly, most people endorse them, as evidenced by the annoying spam thing that pops up at the top of just about every website. Just the simple fact that it says “Helloooooooo!” every time you roll over it will tell you that THIS is the universal symbol of the Internet.
Or is it this….?
XD
Heck, it could even be the title of this post. Perhaps even all three! Whatever it is, it is stupid and horrible and should never be used, except in my case, since I’m making fun of it.
So, yes, I’ve made my point. Some people at the time of me writing this may be posting ‘XD’ as a comment in a YouTube video. Some people may be screaming ‘OMG’ at a new car for that person's sixteenth birthday (girls only). Some people may be screaming “W00t” every time he or she frags someone on Halo 3. Some people may be yelling ‘PWN3T’ in place of “W00t,” and some people may even be screaming ‘N00b’ in the headset so loud that the TV explodes. If you say or type anything like this, or know anyone who does, keep this in mind:
When you say you're "teh uber 1337," then you're basically saying you're "teh uber l0zr."
Like my site? Let me know! E-mail me at tmansgames at gmail.com!
“All your base are belong to us.”
This is a phrase well known among the gaming community. If I may quote CATS, the idiotically designed cyborg villain from the zig-moving rail shooter of yesteryear, Zero Wing, one more time:
“How are you gentlemen!! All your base are belong to us! You are on the way to destruction! You have no chance to survive make your time!”
No, that is not me writing like that on purpose. If I may recite the opening of this translation abomination:
-In A.D. 2101, war was beginning-
Captain: What happen?! (Yes, not “What happened?”)
Mechanic: Somebody set up us the bomb! (Who set who up? What now?)
Operator: We get signal!
Captain: What!!
Operator: Main screen turn on!!
Captain: It’s you!!
CATS: How are you gentlemen!! All your base are belong to us! (Yes…”All your base are belong to us.”) You are on the way to destruction!
Captain: What you say!! (Yes, “What you say!!”)
CATS: You have no chance to survive make your time! (…Um…okayyyy?) Ha ha ha ha...
Captain: Take off every zig!! You know what you doing!! (This is getting incredibly redundant…) Move zig!! For great justice!! (…No comment)
See? Is it not redunkulus? (Something I saw in a Zaxby’s restaurant; don’t ask)
But I’m just wasting my time. Most gamers are fairly familiar with “All Your Base,” and the phenomenon died years before I discovered it.
Heck, I’ve never even played Zero Wing, but after hearing about this “All Your Base” crap, I was forced by an unfightable impulse in me to go to YouTube and look this crap up. The first video I found was a music video with a montage of various signs saying “All Your Base Are Belong To Us,” rather than the usual things they say. It was rather ‘ehh,’ and besides that, all I wanted to see was the intro.
That was when I found one with voice actors rather than flash voices, that was ultimately funnier than the last one (partly because the way CATS said “All your base are belong to us” was funnier) and included the full intro. Later on, I even found a version of Queen’s famous song, Bohemian Rhapsody, with the intro’s dialogue! Definitely worth checking out! (Falls over laughing)
Even stranger is the fact that on a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles forum, there was a thread dedicated to fan-made blooper reels, and one was a short reinterpretation of “All Your Base” with The Shredder and Raphael. Obviously, it’s destiny that we met.
So, is it safe to say that Zero Wing is the most poorly translated game ever released? Probably……
This is a phrase well known among the gaming community. If I may quote CATS, the idiotically designed cyborg villain from the zig-moving rail shooter of yesteryear, Zero Wing, one more time:
“How are you gentlemen!! All your base are belong to us! You are on the way to destruction! You have no chance to survive make your time!”
No, that is not me writing like that on purpose. If I may recite the opening of this translation abomination:
-In A.D. 2101, war was beginning-
Captain: What happen?! (Yes, not “What happened?”)
Mechanic: Somebody set up us the bomb! (Who set who up? What now?)
Operator: We get signal!
Captain: What!!
Operator: Main screen turn on!!
Captain: It’s you!!
CATS: How are you gentlemen!! All your base are belong to us! (Yes…”All your base are belong to us.”) You are on the way to destruction!
Captain: What you say!! (Yes, “What you say!!”)
CATS: You have no chance to survive make your time! (…Um…okayyyy?) Ha ha ha ha...
Captain: Take off every zig!! You know what you doing!! (This is getting incredibly redundant…) Move zig!! For great justice!! (…No comment)
See? Is it not redunkulus? (Something I saw in a Zaxby’s restaurant; don’t ask)
But I’m just wasting my time. Most gamers are fairly familiar with “All Your Base,” and the phenomenon died years before I discovered it.
Heck, I’ve never even played Zero Wing, but after hearing about this “All Your Base” crap, I was forced by an unfightable impulse in me to go to YouTube and look this crap up. The first video I found was a music video with a montage of various signs saying “All Your Base Are Belong To Us,” rather than the usual things they say. It was rather ‘ehh,’ and besides that, all I wanted to see was the intro.
That was when I found one with voice actors rather than flash voices, that was ultimately funnier than the last one (partly because the way CATS said “All your base are belong to us” was funnier) and included the full intro. Later on, I even found a version of Queen’s famous song, Bohemian Rhapsody, with the intro’s dialogue! Definitely worth checking out! (Falls over laughing)
Even stranger is the fact that on a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles forum, there was a thread dedicated to fan-made blooper reels, and one was a short reinterpretation of “All Your Base” with The Shredder and Raphael. Obviously, it’s destiny that we met.
So, is it safe to say that Zero Wing is the most poorly translated game ever released? Probably……
It’s-a me! Mario! Or…wait...I mean-a T-Man.
Ehhhh…sorry about that!
Well, with the first true Mario game here since Sunshine, those of us who own Galaxy (not me) have little reason to play Mario Party anymore. But still, we can only look back at the fun we had with those many era-gone parties…
Or can we?
Mario Party 8 has been dumped on even more than past installments. Apparently, people have gotten tired of the same old formula reused in every Mario Party game ever made and the so-called “horrible” single player mode, resulting in such scores as 5/10 from IGN and 6/10 from GameSpot. Don’t get me wrong; I like Mario Party better with a friend, but if I may quote the Mario Party DS commercial, “One’s fun, but four’s a party!” So, why criticize a formula that has worked for eight years?
But I digress. Even I, who have been loyal to the series since the second installment (well, more like fourth, since I never bought Mario Party 3), have a question: WHY IS THE GAME SO DANG LUCK-BASED??? Okay, let me take a few deep breaths. Well, you see, there has been an ongoing problem in the Mario Party series: the fact that it’s almost pre-decided whether you’ll win or lose. Usually, Mario Party games end up helping me, but in Mario Party 8, that was changed. Maybe Nintendo thought Mario Party was too easy. I don’t know, but seems like sometimes the game cheats. That’s right. If you’ve played Sonic Shuffle, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet. In Sonic Shuffle, the AI itself cheats, but in Mario Party, the game helps the computer players by giving them all the best candy and rolls. Meanwhile, you’re over there rolling 1’s and 2’s and getting some stupid useless ‘Weeglee Candy’ and whatnot. Oh, and did I mention that halfway through the game they’ll have at least five stars and you’ll have two? Madness. SOMETIMES, though, the game will give you a little boost of luck, and yet you still lose. I’ve only played one full game, and in it, I lost because the game cheated. The other times I’ve started over repeatedly and eventually quit in protest. I won’t take any crap. No gamer should have to. Oh, and did I mention that the only other Mario Party I have that abused us gamers was Mario Party 2? At least the mini-games are still fun. And no, I don’t use handicaps or set the AI to easy. It seems like it would make it TOO easy. Maybe I’ll just play mini-games from now on, since my sister’s unlocked pretty much all of them.
Now on to the subject of the mini-games. OK, maybe Party Mode suffers, but the mini-games are where this game really shines. As the first Mario Party for the Wii, the game puts the Wii Remote to good use, as well as providing classic Mario Party mini-game styles. In most of the mini-games you’ll use the Wii Remote’s functionality for something, but there are quite a few in which you hold the Wii Remote sideways and play it like you would a normal Mario Party mini-game. Personally, I like the Wii Remote mini-games better, but hey, I’m not complaining.
Another neat aspect of the gameplay is the use of Candy rather than Orbs. The candy is like Orbs, but instead turns you INTO something. I’ll use the Cashzap Candy for an example. When you eat it, you turn electrified. Then, you throw a dart to see whose coins you will destroy. Pretty cool, huh?
The game also has cool new boards. DK’s Treetop Temple is your usual Mario Party board, taking place in a jungle. On Goomba’s Booty Boardwalk, you race to the end to get the Star from Captain Goomba. On King Boo’s Haunted Hideaway, you have to go through the mansion and find King Boo, then get his Star for 10 Coins. Enter the wrong room and you’ll be spat right out the mansion. On Shy Guy’s Perplex Express, you have to get to the end of the train to get the Star, then make it back to the beginning and start over again. On Koopa’s Tycoon Town (which is a lot like Mario Party 7’s Windmillville), you have to invest coins in hotels and try to come out on top. On Bowser’s Warped Orbit, you have to use Bowser Candy and Bullet Candy to steal Stars from your opponents.
Yet another new element that was added is the Lucky Space. Land on it and it will take you someplace away from the main board. There are three coins on every space, and at the end is often a free Star.
So, we’ve overviewed the gameplay pretty much, but there’s still some stuff to go over. For instance, the graphics. One word describes them: last-gen. I know the Wii isn’t truly a next-generation system, but these aren’t even Wii graphics. They’re Gamecube graphics. They tried to make it look like a Wii game by adding blindingly bright lighting effects…but that only made the game look worse. But Mario Party doesn’t really have much of a reputation for pretty graphics anyway. They’re more or less known for their fun multiplayer gameplay.
That still leaves music, or in this case, MUZAK, to go over. Welcome to the world of Peanut Butter Jelly Time, or as Simon Cowell called it, “forgettable.” The level themes are uninspired, “forgettable,” and ‘Fergalicious’ (which means horrible, especially music-wise). The themes in past Mario Parties were “forgettable,” but at least they weren’t overcome by ‘Fergaliciousness’ (no offence to Fergie or anyone that likes that song).
Oh, but I never mentioned the story. The story’s stupid, but it’s Mario Party, all right. Mario and all his friends have been invited to come to the Star Carnival. If Mario and his friends fight their way through the boards, they get a lifetime supply of candy! But then comes along Bowser to crash the party, and it’s up to Mario and friends to stop him! It’s not so bad, but it wouldn’t show up in any game that wasn’t a Mario Party game.
So, yeah, this game isn’t perfect. In fact, it’s far from it. But hey, it’s Mario Party and it’s fun! So LIVE WITH IT!! You SHOULD buy this game for the mini-games, or if you don’t care to be frustrated, but whatever.
Now, here’s a little summarization for those of you who didn’t read the entire review:
----------------------Summary----------------------
Gameplay: Pretty Good. Mini-games are super fun, the candy system and Lucky Spaces work, and the boards are sweet, but most of the fun of Party Mode has been replaced by frustration.
Graphics: Crappy. Perfectly last-gen. Nintendo made the game brighter so it would look better, but it only made it look worse.
Music: Crappy. As Simon Cowell said to Sophat after his performance of Peanut Butter Jelly Time, “forgettable.”
Story: Pretty Good. It screams “Mario Party.” Nothing more.
Overall: Pretty Good. Would have gotten an “Awesome,” if it weren’t for Party Mode being overly frustrating.
Like my site? Let me know! E-mail me at tmansgames at gmail.com! But remember: I’m 11 years old, so, please, don’t use bad language else I’ll delete your e-mail. My father checks over e-mails to make sure there isn’t anything bad in them.
Ehhhh…sorry about that!
Well, with the first true Mario game here since Sunshine, those of us who own Galaxy (not me) have little reason to play Mario Party anymore. But still, we can only look back at the fun we had with those many era-gone parties…
Or can we?
Mario Party 8 has been dumped on even more than past installments. Apparently, people have gotten tired of the same old formula reused in every Mario Party game ever made and the so-called “horrible” single player mode, resulting in such scores as 5/10 from IGN and 6/10 from GameSpot. Don’t get me wrong; I like Mario Party better with a friend, but if I may quote the Mario Party DS commercial, “One’s fun, but four’s a party!” So, why criticize a formula that has worked for eight years?
But I digress. Even I, who have been loyal to the series since the second installment (well, more like fourth, since I never bought Mario Party 3), have a question: WHY IS THE GAME SO DANG LUCK-BASED??? Okay, let me take a few deep breaths. Well, you see, there has been an ongoing problem in the Mario Party series: the fact that it’s almost pre-decided whether you’ll win or lose. Usually, Mario Party games end up helping me, but in Mario Party 8, that was changed. Maybe Nintendo thought Mario Party was too easy. I don’t know, but seems like sometimes the game cheats. That’s right. If you’ve played Sonic Shuffle, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet. In Sonic Shuffle, the AI itself cheats, but in Mario Party, the game helps the computer players by giving them all the best candy and rolls. Meanwhile, you’re over there rolling 1’s and 2’s and getting some stupid useless ‘Weeglee Candy’ and whatnot. Oh, and did I mention that halfway through the game they’ll have at least five stars and you’ll have two? Madness. SOMETIMES, though, the game will give you a little boost of luck, and yet you still lose. I’ve only played one full game, and in it, I lost because the game cheated. The other times I’ve started over repeatedly and eventually quit in protest. I won’t take any crap. No gamer should have to. Oh, and did I mention that the only other Mario Party I have that abused us gamers was Mario Party 2? At least the mini-games are still fun. And no, I don’t use handicaps or set the AI to easy. It seems like it would make it TOO easy. Maybe I’ll just play mini-games from now on, since my sister’s unlocked pretty much all of them.
Now on to the subject of the mini-games. OK, maybe Party Mode suffers, but the mini-games are where this game really shines. As the first Mario Party for the Wii, the game puts the Wii Remote to good use, as well as providing classic Mario Party mini-game styles. In most of the mini-games you’ll use the Wii Remote’s functionality for something, but there are quite a few in which you hold the Wii Remote sideways and play it like you would a normal Mario Party mini-game. Personally, I like the Wii Remote mini-games better, but hey, I’m not complaining.
Another neat aspect of the gameplay is the use of Candy rather than Orbs. The candy is like Orbs, but instead turns you INTO something. I’ll use the Cashzap Candy for an example. When you eat it, you turn electrified. Then, you throw a dart to see whose coins you will destroy. Pretty cool, huh?
The game also has cool new boards. DK’s Treetop Temple is your usual Mario Party board, taking place in a jungle. On Goomba’s Booty Boardwalk, you race to the end to get the Star from Captain Goomba. On King Boo’s Haunted Hideaway, you have to go through the mansion and find King Boo, then get his Star for 10 Coins. Enter the wrong room and you’ll be spat right out the mansion. On Shy Guy’s Perplex Express, you have to get to the end of the train to get the Star, then make it back to the beginning and start over again. On Koopa’s Tycoon Town (which is a lot like Mario Party 7’s Windmillville), you have to invest coins in hotels and try to come out on top. On Bowser’s Warped Orbit, you have to use Bowser Candy and Bullet Candy to steal Stars from your opponents.
Yet another new element that was added is the Lucky Space. Land on it and it will take you someplace away from the main board. There are three coins on every space, and at the end is often a free Star.
So, we’ve overviewed the gameplay pretty much, but there’s still some stuff to go over. For instance, the graphics. One word describes them: last-gen. I know the Wii isn’t truly a next-generation system, but these aren’t even Wii graphics. They’re Gamecube graphics. They tried to make it look like a Wii game by adding blindingly bright lighting effects…but that only made the game look worse. But Mario Party doesn’t really have much of a reputation for pretty graphics anyway. They’re more or less known for their fun multiplayer gameplay.
That still leaves music, or in this case, MUZAK, to go over. Welcome to the world of Peanut Butter Jelly Time, or as Simon Cowell called it, “forgettable.” The level themes are uninspired, “forgettable,” and ‘Fergalicious’ (which means horrible, especially music-wise). The themes in past Mario Parties were “forgettable,” but at least they weren’t overcome by ‘Fergaliciousness’ (no offence to Fergie or anyone that likes that song).
Oh, but I never mentioned the story. The story’s stupid, but it’s Mario Party, all right. Mario and all his friends have been invited to come to the Star Carnival. If Mario and his friends fight their way through the boards, they get a lifetime supply of candy! But then comes along Bowser to crash the party, and it’s up to Mario and friends to stop him! It’s not so bad, but it wouldn’t show up in any game that wasn’t a Mario Party game.
So, yeah, this game isn’t perfect. In fact, it’s far from it. But hey, it’s Mario Party and it’s fun! So LIVE WITH IT!! You SHOULD buy this game for the mini-games, or if you don’t care to be frustrated, but whatever.
Now, here’s a little summarization for those of you who didn’t read the entire review:
----------------------Summary----------------------
Gameplay: Pretty Good. Mini-games are super fun, the candy system and Lucky Spaces work, and the boards are sweet, but most of the fun of Party Mode has been replaced by frustration.
Graphics: Crappy. Perfectly last-gen. Nintendo made the game brighter so it would look better, but it only made it look worse.
Music: Crappy. As Simon Cowell said to Sophat after his performance of Peanut Butter Jelly Time, “forgettable.”
Story: Pretty Good. It screams “Mario Party.” Nothing more.
Overall: Pretty Good. Would have gotten an “Awesome,” if it weren’t for Party Mode being overly frustrating.
Like my site? Let me know! E-mail me at tmansgames at gmail.com! But remember: I’m 11 years old, so, please, don’t use bad language else I’ll delete your e-mail. My father checks over e-mails to make sure there isn’t anything bad in them.