Here it is. The review that is more than likely my most anticipated review ever. My review for…(drum roll please)…SUPER SMASH BROS. BRAWL!!!
Now, I will admit that, while I enjoyed its predecessor, Melee, very much, after about a few years, I got kinda bored with it. I’m not exactly one of those people who can play a game for seven years (actually about five, since I got it for Christmas of 2002). Now, with Brawl having pretty much the same gameplay, one would expect me to care little of it. That is actually not the case. Though Brawl has the same gameplay, it is still a fresh experience all around…or maybe it’s because there are things that are actually worth the time to unlock that I haven’t unlocked yet (unlike the Diskun trophy in Melee).
So, if you’ve played Melee or the original Smash Bros., then you should know that they’re not straightforward fighting games, and if you haven’t played any, this would be a great place to start. They actually make it into the category of party games because they’re more about getting a, oh, say…a ring out! Also, you’re not as closed in as you are in a fighting game; you can walk, run, and jump to your heart’s content with up to four players. Of course, how do you make people get a “ring out?” Well, the characters have a damage percentage that goes up as you own them. When it’s up high enough, bash them with a strong attack and they’ll fly off into the distance!
But who will you be playing as? Not Voldo or Ivy; you’ll be playing as Nintendo classics, as well as a few others! Wait, others? Of course Sonic is in the game (he was requested so much that it would have actually seemed that there was an anti-Sonic conspiracy at Nintendo had he not been in the game), as well as Solid Snake, but I, though I’ve only played with him once, feel that it’s safe to say that he does not live up to the hype behind his appearance. Sonic, on the other hand, has had his speed and signature attacks incorporated into the game perfectly (except for the Homing Attack, which is a little unwieldy), and Nintendo obviously knew that Sonic fans would enjoy several extras regarding Sonic. Though Sonic is the only character of his series who is playable, Tails, Amy, and Blaze (at least, those are the only ones I’ve got) appear as collectible trophies, and Tails, Knuckles, and Silver (from Sonic for 360) make cameo appearances in Sonic’s VERY OWN STAGE, the Green Hill Zone. That, not to mention every Sonic theme known to man is in the game (Live and Learn, Sonic Heroes, Open Your Heart, even Sonic Boom, Supersonic Racing, and His World), and the playable appearance of Super Sonic (as his Final Smash, and it inevitably leads to the temporary inability to die, no matter how far off-screen you go, and the ownage of everything you so much as touch), is just a wonder to behold.
But how do you get a Final Smash? There are Smash Ball items that will occasionally appear during a Brawl or during Classic Mode, which, if you hit it enough, you’ll be able to use a Final Smash. Unfortunately, there are some flaws. Rather than grabbing it, you have to hit it a few times to get the Smash Ball. The Smash Ball seems to have “health,” so someone can steal the Smash Ball from you, aaaaaaaand it’s pretty annoying.
But how do the Nintendo characters fare? Well, if you liked them in Melee, then you’ll like them here. Of course, there are Nintendo newcomers as well as third-party newcomers. This time around, we’ve got Pit (Kid Icarus), Ike, R.O.B. (yes, R.O.B.), Pokemon Trainer, Lucario…even alternate forms of characters, like Wario Man, Zero Suit Samus (her blue jumpsuit in Metroid Zero Mission), and Giga Bowser (It’s true!), although they are all playable only by using that character’s Final Smash, like Super Sonic. Also like Super Sonic, Wario Man and Giga Bowser are only playable for limited periods of time, but Zero Suit Samus will only put her suit on when you get another Smash Ball (you can also start out as Zero Suit Samus by choosing Samus and holding R until the fight starts, just so you know).
Yet, Nintendo seems to have a bit of a Poke-problem with Pokemon characters, as they’re never very good. In Melee the Poke-fighters were Pikachu, Jigglypuff, Pichu, and Mewtwo. While you could easily expect Pikachu, as he’s practically the star of the show (literally), Jigglypuff, Pichu, and Mewtwo? Jigglypuff and Pichu have no place in Smash Bros. Though I can SLIGHTLY see Mewtwo in the game (since he got his own movie). Jigglypuff seems to only be in the game because she was in the original, but she was in THAT game for the sake of noobifying the competition. After all, everyone probably agrees that Jigglypuff is the noobiest and most pointless character in the Smash universe…next to Pichu, that is. He was just in there to give Pikachu a clone, cause clone characters were all the rage in Melee (Ganondorf = Captain Falcon, as an example), but he was even worse than Pikachu. I mean, think about it: TAKING DAMAGE EVERY TIME YOU USE AN ATTACK?!! Stupid. Thankfully, (although I sadly can’t say the same for Jigglypuff), Pichu is NOT in Brawl.
Instead, he gets replaced by Pokemon Trainer (who I like to call Ash because he looks like him, and even has the same voice actor), who is ten times better. In fact, I like him better than Pikachu (come to think of it, I never liked Pikachu in the first place). He has three Pokemon: Squirtle, Ivysaur, and Charizard. No, I don’t mean they come out of Pokeballs and attack like normal Pokemon; you actually get to PLAY with them! Each sports its own arsenal of attacks. How do you switch Pokemon? Just press Down and B. Squirtle is the best, followed by Ivysaur and Charizard (who is at least obedient to your button pressing…). Mewtwo gets replaced by Lucario, who is also only in the game because he was in the EIGHTH movie (yes, I know that there have been to many; that, along with the inability of Dragon Ball Z characters to STOP CRAPPING THEIR PANTS AND FIGHT, and the entire concept of Voltron, is one of the great enigmas of Japanese anime). Though he is SLIGHTLY better than Mewtwo (because of his Final Smash, which is a huge laser that you aim to own people), he’s otherwise just as crappy. The main Poke-problem, though? Jigglypuff reappears.
But I’m just dancing around the subject here. We need to get into the main modes of the game! Now, of course there is Classic Mode, in which you own people to progress from stage to stage. But if you crave more (as I’m sure you will), there are other single player modes as well. Sure, there’s still Event Mode, and All-Star Mode even reappears (like in Melee, you unlock it once you get all of the characters), but this game actually has a STORY MODE!!! It’s called “The Subspace Emissary,” and chronicles the adventures of the game’s characters as the fight the forces of Subspace! Many old Nintendo villains reappear, as well as those specific to Smash Bros., but I won’t spoil it. The story mode is actually a fully-fledged platform game, all its own, rendering Melee’s sub-par Adventure Mode to pure crap. It’s also an easy way to unlock most of the characters, because when you meet a character, he/she is yours!
Now, of course, unlocking everything will be no simple task. This game is PACKED to the brim with content. Every time you complete Classic or All-Star Mode (or Boss Battle, although I haven’t managed to beat that with anyone yet…) you get a trophy. Now, there are 35 characters to play those modes with. That means you will be going through those modes exactly 70 times combined. And you won’t be playing for trophies, stages, and characters alone; there are also Stickers and music CDs to collect. Once you get done with Subspace Emissary, Classic Mode, All-Star Mode, and Event Mode, there’s STILL more to do in Stadium. There, you’ll find Home-Run Contest, Multi-Man Brawl, Target Test, and Boss Battles. And even when you get done with all that, there will still be getting unlockables through playing Brawls on a certain map however many times, using a character however many times, etc. Heck, you can even unlock demos of Virtual Console games! I don’t really care for that decision, but whatever.
And on the off chance you DO unlock everything, you can continue to have fun playing with friends and online for years on end. Not to mention, you can make your own stage with Stage Builder. Though it is pretty limited (anyone ever heard of scenery and textures from the game’s normal stages?), I WAS able to recreate Scrap Brain Zone (from Sonic 1) using conveyer belts and a spinning Ferris wheel thing.
But it’s not all ponies that eat rainbows and poop butterflies in the happy little spec of Super Smash Bros. Brawl. Now outside of the lecture about the “Poke-problem” Nintendo is dealing with, this is the most scathing part of the review. But note that it is only one paragraph (that is, the scathing part is after this).
For one thing, not only is the stage builder limited in scenery, but it is also limited in space. Evidently, Nintendo was too lazy to take the time for each object to take up only as much space as it needs. When you place a rather small object in your stage, there is a red box around it that represents space that it DOESN’T take up. Also, between battles in the Subspace Emissary and even when you boot up the game, you are treated to a 20-second load time. Don’t you think that with the ridiculous delays Nintendo would have had enough time to improve them? At least it doesn’t happen anywhere else. Also, when you start to run, your characters will occasionally TRIP. What was Nintendo thinking when they made it to where the characters TRIP?! “LOL, LET’S MAKE THE PEOPLE TRIP!!! THAT’LL BE TEH UBER 1337!!!” (Internet stereotype; not to be taken seriously) Whatever.
If it wasn’t clear already, you should immediately get up from your seat and pick this game up. It’s a nearly perfect game plagued only by some very minor flaws, and filled to the brim with unlockables, so buy it. Now.
So What’s Good?
+ IT’S FINALLY HERE!!!!
+ Sonic made it! YAAAYYY!!
+ New Nintendo characters are great, too
+ Several game modes, as well as a fully fledged platform game that serves as the story mode
+ A ridiculous amount of unlockables
+ Stage Builder is a nice touch
…But Then What’s Bad?
- Smash Ball thievery
- Jigglypuff and Lucario…
- Stage Builder is sort of limited
- Load times are kind of long
- I JUST TRIPPED?!! WHAT THE CRAP?!!
This Game’s Word: Pure Greatness!! OK, it’s not completely flawless, but no one can deny it’s a simply wonderful game.
Now, I will admit that, while I enjoyed its predecessor, Melee, very much, after about a few years, I got kinda bored with it. I’m not exactly one of those people who can play a game for seven years (actually about five, since I got it for Christmas of 2002). Now, with Brawl having pretty much the same gameplay, one would expect me to care little of it. That is actually not the case. Though Brawl has the same gameplay, it is still a fresh experience all around…or maybe it’s because there are things that are actually worth the time to unlock that I haven’t unlocked yet (unlike the Diskun trophy in Melee).
So, if you’ve played Melee or the original Smash Bros., then you should know that they’re not straightforward fighting games, and if you haven’t played any, this would be a great place to start. They actually make it into the category of party games because they’re more about getting a, oh, say…a ring out! Also, you’re not as closed in as you are in a fighting game; you can walk, run, and jump to your heart’s content with up to four players. Of course, how do you make people get a “ring out?” Well, the characters have a damage percentage that goes up as you own them. When it’s up high enough, bash them with a strong attack and they’ll fly off into the distance!
But who will you be playing as? Not Voldo or Ivy; you’ll be playing as Nintendo classics, as well as a few others! Wait, others? Of course Sonic is in the game (he was requested so much that it would have actually seemed that there was an anti-Sonic conspiracy at Nintendo had he not been in the game), as well as Solid Snake, but I, though I’ve only played with him once, feel that it’s safe to say that he does not live up to the hype behind his appearance. Sonic, on the other hand, has had his speed and signature attacks incorporated into the game perfectly (except for the Homing Attack, which is a little unwieldy), and Nintendo obviously knew that Sonic fans would enjoy several extras regarding Sonic. Though Sonic is the only character of his series who is playable, Tails, Amy, and Blaze (at least, those are the only ones I’ve got) appear as collectible trophies, and Tails, Knuckles, and Silver (from Sonic for 360) make cameo appearances in Sonic’s VERY OWN STAGE, the Green Hill Zone. That, not to mention every Sonic theme known to man is in the game (Live and Learn, Sonic Heroes, Open Your Heart, even Sonic Boom, Supersonic Racing, and His World), and the playable appearance of Super Sonic (as his Final Smash, and it inevitably leads to the temporary inability to die, no matter how far off-screen you go, and the ownage of everything you so much as touch), is just a wonder to behold.
But how do you get a Final Smash? There are Smash Ball items that will occasionally appear during a Brawl or during Classic Mode, which, if you hit it enough, you’ll be able to use a Final Smash. Unfortunately, there are some flaws. Rather than grabbing it, you have to hit it a few times to get the Smash Ball. The Smash Ball seems to have “health,” so someone can steal the Smash Ball from you, aaaaaaaand it’s pretty annoying.
But how do the Nintendo characters fare? Well, if you liked them in Melee, then you’ll like them here. Of course, there are Nintendo newcomers as well as third-party newcomers. This time around, we’ve got Pit (Kid Icarus), Ike, R.O.B. (yes, R.O.B.), Pokemon Trainer, Lucario…even alternate forms of characters, like Wario Man, Zero Suit Samus (her blue jumpsuit in Metroid Zero Mission), and Giga Bowser (It’s true!), although they are all playable only by using that character’s Final Smash, like Super Sonic. Also like Super Sonic, Wario Man and Giga Bowser are only playable for limited periods of time, but Zero Suit Samus will only put her suit on when you get another Smash Ball (you can also start out as Zero Suit Samus by choosing Samus and holding R until the fight starts, just so you know).
Yet, Nintendo seems to have a bit of a Poke-problem with Pokemon characters, as they’re never very good. In Melee the Poke-fighters were Pikachu, Jigglypuff, Pichu, and Mewtwo. While you could easily expect Pikachu, as he’s practically the star of the show (literally), Jigglypuff, Pichu, and Mewtwo? Jigglypuff and Pichu have no place in Smash Bros. Though I can SLIGHTLY see Mewtwo in the game (since he got his own movie). Jigglypuff seems to only be in the game because she was in the original, but she was in THAT game for the sake of noobifying the competition. After all, everyone probably agrees that Jigglypuff is the noobiest and most pointless character in the Smash universe…next to Pichu, that is. He was just in there to give Pikachu a clone, cause clone characters were all the rage in Melee (Ganondorf = Captain Falcon, as an example), but he was even worse than Pikachu. I mean, think about it: TAKING DAMAGE EVERY TIME YOU USE AN ATTACK?!! Stupid. Thankfully, (although I sadly can’t say the same for Jigglypuff), Pichu is NOT in Brawl.
Instead, he gets replaced by Pokemon Trainer (who I like to call Ash because he looks like him, and even has the same voice actor), who is ten times better. In fact, I like him better than Pikachu (come to think of it, I never liked Pikachu in the first place). He has three Pokemon: Squirtle, Ivysaur, and Charizard. No, I don’t mean they come out of Pokeballs and attack like normal Pokemon; you actually get to PLAY with them! Each sports its own arsenal of attacks. How do you switch Pokemon? Just press Down and B. Squirtle is the best, followed by Ivysaur and Charizard (who is at least obedient to your button pressing…). Mewtwo gets replaced by Lucario, who is also only in the game because he was in the EIGHTH movie (yes, I know that there have been to many; that, along with the inability of Dragon Ball Z characters to STOP CRAPPING THEIR PANTS AND FIGHT, and the entire concept of Voltron, is one of the great enigmas of Japanese anime). Though he is SLIGHTLY better than Mewtwo (because of his Final Smash, which is a huge laser that you aim to own people), he’s otherwise just as crappy. The main Poke-problem, though? Jigglypuff reappears.
But I’m just dancing around the subject here. We need to get into the main modes of the game! Now, of course there is Classic Mode, in which you own people to progress from stage to stage. But if you crave more (as I’m sure you will), there are other single player modes as well. Sure, there’s still Event Mode, and All-Star Mode even reappears (like in Melee, you unlock it once you get all of the characters), but this game actually has a STORY MODE!!! It’s called “The Subspace Emissary,” and chronicles the adventures of the game’s characters as the fight the forces of Subspace! Many old Nintendo villains reappear, as well as those specific to Smash Bros., but I won’t spoil it. The story mode is actually a fully-fledged platform game, all its own, rendering Melee’s sub-par Adventure Mode to pure crap. It’s also an easy way to unlock most of the characters, because when you meet a character, he/she is yours!
Now, of course, unlocking everything will be no simple task. This game is PACKED to the brim with content. Every time you complete Classic or All-Star Mode (or Boss Battle, although I haven’t managed to beat that with anyone yet…) you get a trophy. Now, there are 35 characters to play those modes with. That means you will be going through those modes exactly 70 times combined. And you won’t be playing for trophies, stages, and characters alone; there are also Stickers and music CDs to collect. Once you get done with Subspace Emissary, Classic Mode, All-Star Mode, and Event Mode, there’s STILL more to do in Stadium. There, you’ll find Home-Run Contest, Multi-Man Brawl, Target Test, and Boss Battles. And even when you get done with all that, there will still be getting unlockables through playing Brawls on a certain map however many times, using a character however many times, etc. Heck, you can even unlock demos of Virtual Console games! I don’t really care for that decision, but whatever.
And on the off chance you DO unlock everything, you can continue to have fun playing with friends and online for years on end. Not to mention, you can make your own stage with Stage Builder. Though it is pretty limited (anyone ever heard of scenery and textures from the game’s normal stages?), I WAS able to recreate Scrap Brain Zone (from Sonic 1) using conveyer belts and a spinning Ferris wheel thing.
But it’s not all ponies that eat rainbows and poop butterflies in the happy little spec of Super Smash Bros. Brawl. Now outside of the lecture about the “Poke-problem” Nintendo is dealing with, this is the most scathing part of the review. But note that it is only one paragraph (that is, the scathing part is after this).
For one thing, not only is the stage builder limited in scenery, but it is also limited in space. Evidently, Nintendo was too lazy to take the time for each object to take up only as much space as it needs. When you place a rather small object in your stage, there is a red box around it that represents space that it DOESN’T take up. Also, between battles in the Subspace Emissary and even when you boot up the game, you are treated to a 20-second load time. Don’t you think that with the ridiculous delays Nintendo would have had enough time to improve them? At least it doesn’t happen anywhere else. Also, when you start to run, your characters will occasionally TRIP. What was Nintendo thinking when they made it to where the characters TRIP?! “LOL, LET’S MAKE THE PEOPLE TRIP!!! THAT’LL BE TEH UBER 1337!!!” (Internet stereotype; not to be taken seriously) Whatever.
If it wasn’t clear already, you should immediately get up from your seat and pick this game up. It’s a nearly perfect game plagued only by some very minor flaws, and filled to the brim with unlockables, so buy it. Now.
So What’s Good?
+ IT’S FINALLY HERE!!!!
+ Sonic made it! YAAAYYY!!
+ New Nintendo characters are great, too
+ Several game modes, as well as a fully fledged platform game that serves as the story mode
+ A ridiculous amount of unlockables
+ Stage Builder is a nice touch
…But Then What’s Bad?
- Smash Ball thievery
- Jigglypuff and Lucario…
- Stage Builder is sort of limited
- Load times are kind of long
- I JUST TRIPPED?!! WHAT THE CRAP?!!
This Game’s Word: Pure Greatness!! OK, it’s not completely flawless, but no one can deny it’s a simply wonderful game.
Time to give credit where credit is due. Our pride and joy of TV. Not our Pokemon and SpongeBob SqaurePants that make up our everyday lives, but the breaks in between. Commercials. Beautiful, annoying commercials. If you have ever seen a commercial that has particularly disgusted you, just plain got on your nerves, or even if you hate all of them, then you have come to the right place.
---Death By Dudley---
Innocent, carefree (or is it sugar-free?) Dudley Dinosaur. He’s our dental antagonist with a bright smile that just makes you wanna barf! I even gave him his own article, so check the January 2008 archives if you wish to know more. Now, if you have read that, you will know of his history of brainwashing and verbally abusing children. But did you also know that he also eats kids? Just take a look.
So, we have a nice day at the park. The sun is shining, the kids are playing…everything is just perfect. But who comes to ruin our day? Dudley Dinosaur of course!
Dudley: (Runs up to some kid) HEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYY!!!! (Grins and teeth sparkle)
Kid: AAAAAHHH!!! T-REX!!! OMG HAX!!! O.O
Other Kids: (Scream and start to run around in circles) OMG HAX!!! O.O
Dudley: Wait, wait! I’m not here to eat you…
Suddenly the nearest kid starts to look like a burger!
Dudley: So, brush your teeth twice a day, and…
Kid: (Starts to look like a chicken dinner)
Dudley: (Starts to salivate) Floss once a day, and…
Kid: (Looks like a pizza)
Dudley: AND WEAR A MOUTHGUARD!!! (Roars and begins chasing kids, trying to eat them)
All Kids: OMG HAX!!!! O.O
Horrible, isn’t it? Those were just innocent teh uber 1337 kids and he…(sniffs and blows nose). Uhh…sorry. But we’re not done yet! So, anyway…
Newscaster: This is an emergency broadcast! DUDLEY DINOSAUR IS TRYING TO EAT TEH UBER 1337 KIDS!!! But instead, we can supply you with dental care tips from our backup, Sunny Shark!
Sunny Shark: (Commercial shows with a bunch of kids wearing snorkels) Hey, kids! What do we do to protect our teeth? (Right as they pull out mouthguards, he roars and begins chasing the kids)
Kids: OMG HAX!!!! O.O
Person at the Dental Care Association: Maybe we should get someone that WON’T eat children…or make them teh uber 1337.
Horrible, ain’t it? They were all so teh uber 1337!!! (Cries)
So, you thought that was horrible, huh? But you still don’t know disturbing. THIS is VERY disturbing.
---Tanner Crap---
Be who you wanna be, girl! B-A-R-B-I-E!
Can I believe I just said that? No. And the disbelief is not particularly related to the text below, but all Barbie things in general. But this is one outstandingly ridiculous Barbie toy.
So, Barbie, who evidently has tetanus (because she’s always grinning) goes to the OTHER park with her dog, Tanner, attempting to find refuge from Dudley Dinosaur’s rampage. And wherever Barbie goes, the singers, a weird girl who gives Barbie commands for no reason, and a giant hand who controls every move of Barbie and Tanner, go.
Barbie: (Walks into the park)
Singers: Be who you wanna be, girl! B-A-R-B-I-E!!!
Tanner: (Pushes up her box of treats)
Girl: Barbie, GIVE TANNER A TREAT!!!
Barbie: (Feeds Tanner a treat)
Singers: Ohhhhhh crap!
Hand: (Pushes down Tanner’s tail)
Tanner: (Poops out a huge wad of crap)
Barbie: (Covers her teeth, because she’s still grinning, and bobs her head back and forth as she tries to contain her chunks. She is then carried over to the trash can by the hand, where she opens it up, sticks her face in it, and pukes)
Girl: Barbie, CLEAN UP TANNER’S MESS!!!
Hand: (Slides Barbie over to the pile of crap)
Barbie: (Tries to pick up the crap with a pooper scooper, but the poop roars and eats it.)
So, yeah, that was horrible. And that’s all we’ve got for today! I hope you enjoyed that, and remember:
Steer clear of Dudley and Tanner.
Coming Up Next… I’ll post my review of Super Smash Bros. Brawl soon, so be on the lookout!
---Death By Dudley---
Innocent, carefree (or is it sugar-free?) Dudley Dinosaur. He’s our dental antagonist with a bright smile that just makes you wanna barf! I even gave him his own article, so check the January 2008 archives if you wish to know more. Now, if you have read that, you will know of his history of brainwashing and verbally abusing children. But did you also know that he also eats kids? Just take a look.
So, we have a nice day at the park. The sun is shining, the kids are playing…everything is just perfect. But who comes to ruin our day? Dudley Dinosaur of course!
Dudley: (Runs up to some kid) HEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYY!!!! (Grins and teeth sparkle)
Kid: AAAAAHHH!!! T-REX!!! OMG HAX!!! O.O
Other Kids: (Scream and start to run around in circles) OMG HAX!!! O.O
Dudley: Wait, wait! I’m not here to eat you…
Suddenly the nearest kid starts to look like a burger!
Dudley: So, brush your teeth twice a day, and…
Kid: (Starts to look like a chicken dinner)
Dudley: (Starts to salivate) Floss once a day, and…
Kid: (Looks like a pizza)
Dudley: AND WEAR A MOUTHGUARD!!! (Roars and begins chasing kids, trying to eat them)
All Kids: OMG HAX!!!! O.O
Horrible, isn’t it? Those were just innocent teh uber 1337 kids and he…(sniffs and blows nose). Uhh…sorry. But we’re not done yet! So, anyway…
Newscaster: This is an emergency broadcast! DUDLEY DINOSAUR IS TRYING TO EAT TEH UBER 1337 KIDS!!! But instead, we can supply you with dental care tips from our backup, Sunny Shark!
Sunny Shark: (Commercial shows with a bunch of kids wearing snorkels) Hey, kids! What do we do to protect our teeth? (Right as they pull out mouthguards, he roars and begins chasing the kids)
Kids: OMG HAX!!!! O.O
Person at the Dental Care Association: Maybe we should get someone that WON’T eat children…or make them teh uber 1337.
Horrible, ain’t it? They were all so teh uber 1337!!! (Cries)
So, you thought that was horrible, huh? But you still don’t know disturbing. THIS is VERY disturbing.
---Tanner Crap---
Be who you wanna be, girl! B-A-R-B-I-E!
Can I believe I just said that? No. And the disbelief is not particularly related to the text below, but all Barbie things in general. But this is one outstandingly ridiculous Barbie toy.
So, Barbie, who evidently has tetanus (because she’s always grinning) goes to the OTHER park with her dog, Tanner, attempting to find refuge from Dudley Dinosaur’s rampage. And wherever Barbie goes, the singers, a weird girl who gives Barbie commands for no reason, and a giant hand who controls every move of Barbie and Tanner, go.
Barbie: (Walks into the park)
Singers: Be who you wanna be, girl! B-A-R-B-I-E!!!
Tanner: (Pushes up her box of treats)
Girl: Barbie, GIVE TANNER A TREAT!!!
Barbie: (Feeds Tanner a treat)
Singers: Ohhhhhh crap!
Hand: (Pushes down Tanner’s tail)
Tanner: (Poops out a huge wad of crap)
Barbie: (Covers her teeth, because she’s still grinning, and bobs her head back and forth as she tries to contain her chunks. She is then carried over to the trash can by the hand, where she opens it up, sticks her face in it, and pukes)
Girl: Barbie, CLEAN UP TANNER’S MESS!!!
Hand: (Slides Barbie over to the pile of crap)
Barbie: (Tries to pick up the crap with a pooper scooper, but the poop roars and eats it.)
So, yeah, that was horrible. And that’s all we’ve got for today! I hope you enjoyed that, and remember:
Steer clear of Dudley and Tanner.
Coming Up Next… I’ll post my review of Super Smash Bros. Brawl soon, so be on the lookout!
OK, so maybe I miss Eragon a little. It and Eldest are the best books I ever read. But now I’ve finished them, and while I have been reading several great books for sixth grade, none of them will ever match up to those two golden sets of paper sheets rapped up in a blue-or-orange jacket with a beautiful picture of a dragon on it. Heck, I don’t even HAVE Eldest. I BORROWED that. But maybe my dad can get it for me off Amazon. I DO plan to reread those books before I get whatever that third book will be (which isn’t coming out until November, dang it), and I plan to reread all three of them before I get the eventual fourth book (yes, you heard me; Christopher Paolini is doing another one. Just look it up).
But before Eragon, there was Dragon’s Blood. I read it over the summer when I was nine years old because my mom thought I didn’t read enough. While it was sort of annoying to have to read every day (as were several books I ended up reading for school, even, surprise surprise, Eragon itself, but it seems like reading is only annoying when it’s for school…), especially since I had checked it out rather than bought it, I had to admit it was a pretty dang good book, and was my favorite for awhile. Heck, I even named two characters in Final Fantasy 6 (which I got into that summer) Jakkin and Errikken, after the main character and his friend. I might have even named the main character of FF6 Akki, but I can’t remember exactly.
The really sad thing is, Heart’s Blood is the only book in the Pit Dragon Trilogy (Dragon’s Blood, Heart’s Blood, and A Sending From Dragons, I think it’s called). While it’s not sad because it’s the worst one (it’s been a long time since I’ve read Dragon’s Blood, and I’ve never even read A Sending From Dragons), it’s sad because I WANT THE OTHERS!!!! Why? Because Heart’s Blood is a great book, of course.
So, time for spoilers for Dragon’s Blood! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!!
Anyway, on the planet Austar IV, we have Jakkin, who is no longer a bonder and now a Pit Master, having won a match with Heart’s Blood, his dragon. Of course, being a master, he has to deal with his longtime bonder friend, Errikkin, who frequently tries to suck up to him to keep their friendship strong. But that’s not made a strong point in the story, so anyway, Heart’s Blood has decided to crap out some eggs, and five of the hatchlings live. These hatchlings play an important role in the story, but that’s the only clue I’m giving. But then, of course, Akki, who worked at a baggery with a doctor for a while, went missing. So, Jakkin receives a letter from her asking if he is yet a man, and if he is, to go see her. So, on the way to The Rokk, Jakkin is contacted by Senator Golden to help the rebels (that is, rebels against the Federation government who are trying to buy out Austar IV AND the Austar IV government), and that’s where the rest of the book kicks off. Unfortunately, the aforementioned part gets a little too, say…political? And gets boring in the process. But still, the good parts (which is the majority of the book) will be the reason you buy it. The book really draws you into the story, too. You get a feel for the characters, and when some of them are killed off (though I won’t tell which one, as that would be a MAJOR spoiler), it actually makes you feel bad.
So, should you buy Heart’s Blood? Definitely. If you like Eragon, then you’ll love this. But please, read Dragon’s Blood first.
This Book’s Word: Pure Greatness!! It might not be Eragon, but Heart’s Blood sure is cool!
But before Eragon, there was Dragon’s Blood. I read it over the summer when I was nine years old because my mom thought I didn’t read enough. While it was sort of annoying to have to read every day (as were several books I ended up reading for school, even, surprise surprise, Eragon itself, but it seems like reading is only annoying when it’s for school…), especially since I had checked it out rather than bought it, I had to admit it was a pretty dang good book, and was my favorite for awhile. Heck, I even named two characters in Final Fantasy 6 (which I got into that summer) Jakkin and Errikken, after the main character and his friend. I might have even named the main character of FF6 Akki, but I can’t remember exactly.
The really sad thing is, Heart’s Blood is the only book in the Pit Dragon Trilogy (Dragon’s Blood, Heart’s Blood, and A Sending From Dragons, I think it’s called). While it’s not sad because it’s the worst one (it’s been a long time since I’ve read Dragon’s Blood, and I’ve never even read A Sending From Dragons), it’s sad because I WANT THE OTHERS!!!! Why? Because Heart’s Blood is a great book, of course.
So, time for spoilers for Dragon’s Blood! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!!
Anyway, on the planet Austar IV, we have Jakkin, who is no longer a bonder and now a Pit Master, having won a match with Heart’s Blood, his dragon. Of course, being a master, he has to deal with his longtime bonder friend, Errikkin, who frequently tries to suck up to him to keep their friendship strong. But that’s not made a strong point in the story, so anyway, Heart’s Blood has decided to crap out some eggs, and five of the hatchlings live. These hatchlings play an important role in the story, but that’s the only clue I’m giving. But then, of course, Akki, who worked at a baggery with a doctor for a while, went missing. So, Jakkin receives a letter from her asking if he is yet a man, and if he is, to go see her. So, on the way to The Rokk, Jakkin is contacted by Senator Golden to help the rebels (that is, rebels against the Federation government who are trying to buy out Austar IV AND the Austar IV government), and that’s where the rest of the book kicks off. Unfortunately, the aforementioned part gets a little too, say…political? And gets boring in the process. But still, the good parts (which is the majority of the book) will be the reason you buy it. The book really draws you into the story, too. You get a feel for the characters, and when some of them are killed off (though I won’t tell which one, as that would be a MAJOR spoiler), it actually makes you feel bad.
So, should you buy Heart’s Blood? Definitely. If you like Eragon, then you’ll love this. But please, read Dragon’s Blood first.
This Book’s Word: Pure Greatness!! It might not be Eragon, but Heart’s Blood sure is cool!
Hi, there! If you have come to this site, then you are currently reading a review of Sonic and the Secret Rings! Please stand by for a second!
(Plays elevator version of Open Your Heart)
OK, now I’m ready. Now, if you have been reading this site since about May 2, 2007, then you may remember how much of a super-ultra-mega-major-hardcore Sonic fan I am. After all, I began my gaming career at three years old with Sonic Adventure on Dreamcast (which means I have been with Sonic for almost nine years…it will be exactly nine years in September 9 or so…depending on when my dad bought the Dreamcast). Even today, I look back on those days very fondly. I was completely obsessed. Sonic cartoons, Sonic bedding…I even had Sonic ink pens at one point!
Which would explain my love for Shadow the Hedgehog and my moderate like of Sonic Next-Gen. But where does Secret Rings fall in? Far, far below those games. Even lower than the Game Gear games and Sonic Riders. It is the WORST Sonic game I have ever played, sadly (or would that be Sonic Blast…whatever), and I came to it hoping that it would address the problems Sonic Next-Gen had. Oh, it did, all right (well, mostly technical problems, like glitches, camera, and load times), but in turn, added its own, worse problems. Gentlemen, this game is mediocre, something I never thought I’d say about a Sonic game.
What I can’t believe is that most people regard it as better than Next-Gen. Now, what we first must go over is the gameplay, which is, of course, the most flawed part of the game. Now, Sonic has sped up a little bit since Next-Gen, thankfully, but instead of that, the game just feels like a huge Mach Speed Zone (from Next-Gen). Scratch that. It’s worse. Now, what you do is just let Sonic run. You don’t hold forward on the control stick or anything, you just let him run. Your job is to hold the Wii Remote sideways and move him out of the way of obstacles. Sound fun? I know it doesn’t. Also, this whole concept of Sonic moving forward on his own makes some problems arise. Now, a lot of times, Sonic will be about to run into something, and what YOU’RE supposed to do is come to a complete stop to jump over it. Now, what if Sonic hits it and loses his rings? Well, you’ve got to move backward before he DIES by tilting the Wii Remote backwards, then jumping over it. Now, moving Sonic backwards is unwieldy not only because the camera doesn’t show anything but what’s in front of you, but is also unwieldy because moving backwards by tilting the Wii Remote backwards is overall, like the control under normal circumstances, is an unwieldy idea to begin with.
Now, another thing is the speed. While Sonic DOES move faster this time around, he loses speed immediately after getting hit, and you have to pick up speed right back again. While you get upgrades that address these problems as you level up, why make the game crappy to start with? It makes no sense. Also, when you need to jump over something, Sonic is usually going so fast that you’ll slide at first. When you stop sliding, the jump will stop charging and you’ll run into something. Yeah, bad. At least the homing attack is still fun to do.
And there’s more! You see, all of the above and overall bad level design make this game difficult. Not, “Aw, man,” difficult, but, “WHAT THE CRAP WAS THAT?!!” difficult? I swear some missions are so difficult that my time at the end was over eight minutes. Some have me failing twenty-to-fifty times. Thankfully, the game gives you infinite lives, but it’s still annoying. The final bosses are so hard that I tried them about forty times each.
Oh, yes, the bosses. Now, the bosses of this game are actually rather exceptional. They’re fought while running, and usually have some neat ways to defeat them, but still, the bosses don’t make a game.
Now, you’re last question about the gameplay would probably be, “Is it fun?” Now, when it’s not nightmarishly difficult, it can be quite fun. Heck, sometimes even when it IS difficult, it can be fun. But I still wouldn’t say that it’s as fun as Sonic Next-Gen. It’s mediocre, shoddily programmed, and the gameplay concept itself is crap, with other crap added to it. But I could never say it’s bad. In fact, even saying that it’s mediocre is making me so mad at myself that I am currently fighting the urge to punch myself in the face. Whoops! There go my teeth!
But there’s more! Not flaws, but gameplay! Now, in the game is actually a Party Mode. If you grow tired of the main game, or just simply hate it, give Party Mode a try. No, it’s not stupidly difficult, or moronically story-driven like Sonic Shuffle; it’s like Mario Party. Its whole purpose is to entertain up to four players with several mini-games! Of course, there ARE still boards, but you spend less time searching for Precioustones and more time playing mini-games. Still, there are even flaws with a few mini-games. Now, some mini-games will have you using the D-Pad to move while holding the Wii Remote upright. Now, while they did this so that you wouldn’t have to hook up the Nunchuk for some mini-games, I would rather use the Nunchuk, or at least have the choice of using it. I’ll take the butterfly-catching game as an example. Now, while catching butterflies in bubbles was already a disaster in the making, its difficulty is magnified because you use the D-Pad to move.
We’re done with the gameplay now, so how’s the story? Simply put, and in a word: terrible. Basically, Sonic is called upon by Shahra, the Genie of the Ring, to kill the Erazor Djinn, who is trying to destroy the world of the book, the Arabian Nights. While it IS terrible, though, at least it tries to be good, and the comic book-style scenes are a really nice touch. Also, we have another treat: no hedgehogxhuman relationships! YAAAAAY!!!
Now onto the subject of graphics. As far as graphics go, rather than Sonic Heroes recycled (i.e. Shadow the Hedgehog), we have entirely new graphics, up to the standards of the Wii, actually. And then there are the beautiful FMVs. Though there is only a couple, they are simply wonderful to look at.
Now, as for music, we are given a great soundtrack, as per usual. While the main theme isn’t up to snuff with other Sonic themes, all of the tracks for the stages are great. My personal favorite would be the theme for Sand Oasis, with its fast-paced, Arabian beat and vocals constantly saying “Bend the speed,” or whatever it says. Sadly, we don’t have an Arabian remix of the Stage Complete theme…
But we’ve got voice acting to cover before the closing the review. Now, it’s 4Kids, right? Yep. And they’re doing even worse. Sonic’s voice is never annoying in Sonic X, but in the games, it seems so robotic and emotionless, and even goes as far as getting obnoxious in Secret Rings! Shahra’s voice is okay, as well as those of Sonic’s friends, but Erazor Djinn? He sounds even more robotic than Sonic! But I’m not blaming 4Kids, like most people: I’m blaming SEGA for getting the game out before the actors had a chance to rehearse.
So, in the end, what we have here is a failure to be great. Sure, this game can be fun, but it being so much worse than Next-Gen just makes me think:
What if the next one IS bad?
I’m sorry I didn’t do my Sonic Secret Rings vs. Next-Gen thing I was going to do. After seeing how crappy my Guiter Hero comparisons were, I thought I’d just do a review.
So should you buy it, rent it, or skip it? That depends. If you hated Shadow the Hedgehog and Next-Gen, avoid it at all costs. If you liked those two and don’t mind taking a game back after having it for only a few days, rent it. But if you liked those games and dislike renting, I recommend you buy it, as you CAN find some fun in it.
So What’s Good?
+ Sonic is faster than in Next-Gen
+ Exceptional bosses
+ Can somehow be fun
+ Party Mode
+ No hedgehogxhuman relationships
+ The graphics
+ The FMVs
+ The music
But Then What’s Bad?
- The gameplay
- The punishing difficulty
- The usage of the D-Pad for some mini-games
- The story
- The voice acting
I’m sorry, but I don’t really feel like giving a review summary. Besides, if you were interested, you would probably just read the main review, anyway.
This Game’s Word: Ehhh… Mediocre, at best, especially for a Sonic game.
(Plays elevator version of Open Your Heart)
OK, now I’m ready. Now, if you have been reading this site since about May 2, 2007, then you may remember how much of a super-ultra-mega-major-hardcore Sonic fan I am. After all, I began my gaming career at three years old with Sonic Adventure on Dreamcast (which means I have been with Sonic for almost nine years…it will be exactly nine years in September 9 or so…depending on when my dad bought the Dreamcast). Even today, I look back on those days very fondly. I was completely obsessed. Sonic cartoons, Sonic bedding…I even had Sonic ink pens at one point!
Which would explain my love for Shadow the Hedgehog and my moderate like of Sonic Next-Gen. But where does Secret Rings fall in? Far, far below those games. Even lower than the Game Gear games and Sonic Riders. It is the WORST Sonic game I have ever played, sadly (or would that be Sonic Blast…whatever), and I came to it hoping that it would address the problems Sonic Next-Gen had. Oh, it did, all right (well, mostly technical problems, like glitches, camera, and load times), but in turn, added its own, worse problems. Gentlemen, this game is mediocre, something I never thought I’d say about a Sonic game.
What I can’t believe is that most people regard it as better than Next-Gen. Now, what we first must go over is the gameplay, which is, of course, the most flawed part of the game. Now, Sonic has sped up a little bit since Next-Gen, thankfully, but instead of that, the game just feels like a huge Mach Speed Zone (from Next-Gen). Scratch that. It’s worse. Now, what you do is just let Sonic run. You don’t hold forward on the control stick or anything, you just let him run. Your job is to hold the Wii Remote sideways and move him out of the way of obstacles. Sound fun? I know it doesn’t. Also, this whole concept of Sonic moving forward on his own makes some problems arise. Now, a lot of times, Sonic will be about to run into something, and what YOU’RE supposed to do is come to a complete stop to jump over it. Now, what if Sonic hits it and loses his rings? Well, you’ve got to move backward before he DIES by tilting the Wii Remote backwards, then jumping over it. Now, moving Sonic backwards is unwieldy not only because the camera doesn’t show anything but what’s in front of you, but is also unwieldy because moving backwards by tilting the Wii Remote backwards is overall, like the control under normal circumstances, is an unwieldy idea to begin with.
Now, another thing is the speed. While Sonic DOES move faster this time around, he loses speed immediately after getting hit, and you have to pick up speed right back again. While you get upgrades that address these problems as you level up, why make the game crappy to start with? It makes no sense. Also, when you need to jump over something, Sonic is usually going so fast that you’ll slide at first. When you stop sliding, the jump will stop charging and you’ll run into something. Yeah, bad. At least the homing attack is still fun to do.
And there’s more! You see, all of the above and overall bad level design make this game difficult. Not, “Aw, man,” difficult, but, “WHAT THE CRAP WAS THAT?!!” difficult? I swear some missions are so difficult that my time at the end was over eight minutes. Some have me failing twenty-to-fifty times. Thankfully, the game gives you infinite lives, but it’s still annoying. The final bosses are so hard that I tried them about forty times each.
Oh, yes, the bosses. Now, the bosses of this game are actually rather exceptional. They’re fought while running, and usually have some neat ways to defeat them, but still, the bosses don’t make a game.
Now, you’re last question about the gameplay would probably be, “Is it fun?” Now, when it’s not nightmarishly difficult, it can be quite fun. Heck, sometimes even when it IS difficult, it can be fun. But I still wouldn’t say that it’s as fun as Sonic Next-Gen. It’s mediocre, shoddily programmed, and the gameplay concept itself is crap, with other crap added to it. But I could never say it’s bad. In fact, even saying that it’s mediocre is making me so mad at myself that I am currently fighting the urge to punch myself in the face. Whoops! There go my teeth!
But there’s more! Not flaws, but gameplay! Now, in the game is actually a Party Mode. If you grow tired of the main game, or just simply hate it, give Party Mode a try. No, it’s not stupidly difficult, or moronically story-driven like Sonic Shuffle; it’s like Mario Party. Its whole purpose is to entertain up to four players with several mini-games! Of course, there ARE still boards, but you spend less time searching for Precioustones and more time playing mini-games. Still, there are even flaws with a few mini-games. Now, some mini-games will have you using the D-Pad to move while holding the Wii Remote upright. Now, while they did this so that you wouldn’t have to hook up the Nunchuk for some mini-games, I would rather use the Nunchuk, or at least have the choice of using it. I’ll take the butterfly-catching game as an example. Now, while catching butterflies in bubbles was already a disaster in the making, its difficulty is magnified because you use the D-Pad to move.
We’re done with the gameplay now, so how’s the story? Simply put, and in a word: terrible. Basically, Sonic is called upon by Shahra, the Genie of the Ring, to kill the Erazor Djinn, who is trying to destroy the world of the book, the Arabian Nights. While it IS terrible, though, at least it tries to be good, and the comic book-style scenes are a really nice touch. Also, we have another treat: no hedgehogxhuman relationships! YAAAAAY!!!
Now onto the subject of graphics. As far as graphics go, rather than Sonic Heroes recycled (i.e. Shadow the Hedgehog), we have entirely new graphics, up to the standards of the Wii, actually. And then there are the beautiful FMVs. Though there is only a couple, they are simply wonderful to look at.
Now, as for music, we are given a great soundtrack, as per usual. While the main theme isn’t up to snuff with other Sonic themes, all of the tracks for the stages are great. My personal favorite would be the theme for Sand Oasis, with its fast-paced, Arabian beat and vocals constantly saying “Bend the speed,” or whatever it says. Sadly, we don’t have an Arabian remix of the Stage Complete theme…
But we’ve got voice acting to cover before the closing the review. Now, it’s 4Kids, right? Yep. And they’re doing even worse. Sonic’s voice is never annoying in Sonic X, but in the games, it seems so robotic and emotionless, and even goes as far as getting obnoxious in Secret Rings! Shahra’s voice is okay, as well as those of Sonic’s friends, but Erazor Djinn? He sounds even more robotic than Sonic! But I’m not blaming 4Kids, like most people: I’m blaming SEGA for getting the game out before the actors had a chance to rehearse.
So, in the end, what we have here is a failure to be great. Sure, this game can be fun, but it being so much worse than Next-Gen just makes me think:
What if the next one IS bad?
I’m sorry I didn’t do my Sonic Secret Rings vs. Next-Gen thing I was going to do. After seeing how crappy my Guiter Hero comparisons were, I thought I’d just do a review.
So should you buy it, rent it, or skip it? That depends. If you hated Shadow the Hedgehog and Next-Gen, avoid it at all costs. If you liked those two and don’t mind taking a game back after having it for only a few days, rent it. But if you liked those games and dislike renting, I recommend you buy it, as you CAN find some fun in it.
So What’s Good?
+ Sonic is faster than in Next-Gen
+ Exceptional bosses
+ Can somehow be fun
+ Party Mode
+ No hedgehogxhuman relationships
+ The graphics
+ The FMVs
+ The music
But Then What’s Bad?
- The gameplay
- The punishing difficulty
- The usage of the D-Pad for some mini-games
- The story
- The voice acting
I’m sorry, but I don’t really feel like giving a review summary. Besides, if you were interested, you would probably just read the main review, anyway.
This Game’s Word: Ehhh… Mediocre, at best, especially for a Sonic game.
I'm sorry I originally posted this three times. It did the whole, "This post is taking longer than expected," thing, so I thought it didn't work. That's when I thought of a better title and tried again.
Yes, I know I said I wouldn’t review Super Mario Galaxy again, but I changed my mind. As you know, there was once a time where I would review games before I finished them, making for a few somewhat shoddy reviews (my first Zelda Twilight Princess and Super Mario Galaxy reviews). There were still gameplay elements left unmentioned, and now that I’ve gone through the entire game with both Mario and Luigi (more on that later), I’ve played the game long enough to know exactly how I feel about everything in it. So, let’s review!
I don’t exactly consider Super Mario Galaxy a sequel to Sunshine, as the gameplay has changed drastically between Super Mario Sunshine and Super Mario Galaxy. It seems to me as more of a stand-alone game. Gone are the Red Coin, the Blue Coin, and 100 Yellow Coin collecting missions. The only coin-collection missions you’ll be playing involve collecting 100 PURPLE Coins. While at first glance it may seem that there’s only a color difference, they’re actually more fun than either of those, as they’re mostly not very spaced out from each other (Blue and Yellow Coins), or well-hidden (Red Coins), yet they still strike the right balance of difficulty. As a matter of fact, some are at least ten times harder than any missions that Super Mario 64 OR Sunshine have seen yet (I’m looking at you, Toy Time Galaxy). Yellow Coins still appear with the common functions of restoring health and getting an extra life once fifty are obtained, but they are actually kind of scarce. The most collecting you’ll be doing is picking up Star Bits with the star-shaped cursor (similar to the fairy cursor in Twilight Princess), and they are used to stun enemies (although you’ll probably never use it) and feed hungry star dudes. Another big change is that the game no longer encourages exploration. This is actually a good thing, as, the way the game plays, it would have ruined the game had the stages been too expansive (I know I criticized Metroid Prime 3 for linearity, but it was more similar to its predecessors than Galaxy). The only missions which REALLY encourage exploration are the aforementioned Purple Coin missions, which are more often than not a pain the butt. But these are actually the most minor of changes.
One of the more major changes is that Mario actually regains a few of his moves that he lost in Sunshine, the backflip, crawl, and long jump. Since Mario obviously couldn’t easily crouch with that waterpack on his back, he could no longer use these moves (actually, you could do a backflip if you held down L and R and then pressed A, but it wasn’t the same). But since FLUDD is gone, he can now crouch freely, and do his normal backflip and long jump moves (performed by crouching with Z and pressing A and crouching with Z while running and pressing A, respectively), although his crawl was replaced with a crouch-walk, but it’s also fairly useless. But he also loses some abilities. The dive move is gone completely, and Mario still can’t punch and kick like he could in SM64. However, they get replaced by the Spin Attack (activated by shaking the Wii Remote, and is similar to his up and B move from Smash Bros.), and it serves as your main means of attack throughout most of the game. You can also use your Spin Attack to get some extra height during a jump, and you can still do those fancy Double Jump, Triple Jump, and Ground Pound moves. There’s also a new super jump, activated in 2-Player Co-Star mode when both players press A.
Oh, yes, the 2-Player Co-Star mode. You see, if you have two Wii Remotes, give one to a friend so they can stun, make music with, and throw Star Bits at enemies. Still, it’s only a big help in areas where cannon balls are flying at you from every direction, as your friend can hold them in place.
But I’ve not even started talking about the biggest new feature: the space setting. Now, just about every planetary body (and non-planetary body) in this game has its own gravity; sphere-shaped planet, Toad starships, egg-shaped planets…even the overweight Queen Bee in the Honeyhive Galaxy. But toward the end of the game, this feature starts to lose its charm. Now, I’m going to take the first stage, Good Egg Galaxy (all stages are galaxies), and compare it to one of the final stages, the Dreadnought Galaxy. Now, while the Good Egg Galaxy is pure space action, the Dreadnought Galaxy isn’t as fun or as special as the Good Egg Galaxy. Nintendo probably started rushing when they began to complete the last few stages, and it’s not the first time this has happened (I’m looking a at you, Viewtiful Joe). Still, the last few stages are very much a blast to play, so don’t be too disappointed.
The hub world has little use other than to get you to observatory domes and play with one of the game’s power ups. From the observatory domes, you can see many galaxies that you can travel to. While there are several small galaxies with one Star to get, the ones you will spend the most time in will have at least six. There are 120 Stars to get, and Nintendo actually decided to give you a reward that was worth it (replaying the game as Luigi), so I definitely recommend getting all of them. If you get all of them as Luigi, you get a different reward, but what is it? I’m not telling!
Not all of the stages have a normal space setting. The second galaxy is a sunlit, Earth-like galaxy. There is also a desert galaxy, where you can use the local tornadoes to get a boost by shaking the Wii Remote. There are also several beach galaxies, where you will either swim in the depths of the ocean, hitch a ride on a manta ray (similar to Blooper surfing in Sunshine), plunder a ghost ship, or even race penguins! There’s even a volcano galaxy and a galaxy that’s a mix of both hot and cold elements, although the cold part is the part that you’ll visit the most.
Of course, while the Wii Remote is not abused in the main game, there are times when you’ll have to use the sensor. The first of these is during the aforementioned manta surfing, where you’ll be winding your way around loops and attempting (emphasis on attempting) not to fall off. Yeah, it’s pretty hard. Later, you’ll need to roll a ball by holding the Wii Remote upright and trying to keep the ball steady and not fall to your doom, which happens to be near impossible. You’ll also have to blow a bubble through a maze of hazards. Yeah, you guessed it: hard. While these missions are still very fun, I’m sad to say that there are three trial galaxies that use these three concepts and make the levels even harder, and those are NOT fun.
But the more common ways to use the Wii Remote are far easier. Several times throughout the game, you’ll need to navigate your way through a series of blue, tractor beam-like Pull Stars by using the Wii IR. You’ll also find Launch Stars and Sling Stars as a means of getting from one planet to the next, and you simply shake the Wii Remote to activate them. But of course, there has to be some challenge in it. Most of the time, you’ll have to find five Star Chips or Blue Star Chips for Pull Stars to assemble them, but Launch Stars will occasionally be encased in ice or hidden from view by an obstruction.
Another gameplay element worth noting is Prankster Comets. Throughout the game, Prankster Comets will pass by galaxies, bringing a Power Star and stirring up the galaxies in the process (each large galaxy has three normal Stars, two Stars obtained through Prankster Comet challenges, and one, or, in rare cases, two hidden Stars). There are several types: Fast Foe, Daredevil, Speedy, Cosmic, and Purple. The Fast Foe Comets are the least common, only appearing after missions in which you had to go through a large area with several enemies that can smash you (like Thwomps and those blocks with angry faces from SM64) and thus kill you in one hit, although non-enemy objects, such as moving platforms, get sped up as well. Daredevil Comets make for some nightmarish missions where you have to fight a boss or run through an entire stage with only one chunk of health (you normally have three), and if you get hit once, you die and have to start the ENTIRE mission over. Speedy Comets are easily the most fun, as you only have to run through a level with a somewhat generous time limit. Cosmic Comets force you to race a space-created doppelganger of yourself, and it’s actually pretty fast. And Purple Comets bring upon you the painful Purple Coin missions mentioned at the beginning of the review.
The bosses are usually very fun. You’ll find a dinosaur version of Petey Piranha from Sunshine, (although I’m sad to say that Gooper Blooper doesn’t appear in any form) in which you’ll have to knock its tail into its head. You’ll have to fight him again as a flaming version, where you’ll have to hit its tail when it’s NOT on fire, but when you have to deal the final blow, it’s one of the more nightmarish bosses in the game. Another boss, Bouldergeist, is a dark spirit shielded by rocks that you have to blow up using the local Bomb Boos. While it’s not very hard under normal circumstances, it’s pretty evil when you have to defeat it as a Daredevil Comet mission. King Kaliente is the fiery octopus boss we saw at E3, fought by deflecting his coconuts back at him. And what would be a Mario game without epic battles with Bowser... Or maybe not so epic. In fact, the final boss is far too simple, but whatever. Bowser Jr. also tries his hand again, and he’s a bit more creative than Bowser, even reviving King Kaliente after his defeat at the Good Egg Galaxy (although that’s probably a result of Nintendo’s laziness in making a new boss, as King Kaliente is fought no differently from before).
Difficulty factor is usually not a problem. Throughout most of the game, the missions will be moderate. Still, there are those nightmarishly difficult missions like most Daredevil Comet missions and the Trial Galaxies. Still, it can’t be too hard if I can manage to get all 120 Stars, since I haven’t been able to do it in previous games. However, this could be attributed to the game’s general linearity. It’s also easier and faster when you run through the game as Luigi because you already know what to expect. But the camera makes things harder, as it does in all Mario games. In fact, this is an area where Mario is even worse than Sonic! But whatever. At least it’s not super glitchy and the controls aren’t jerky…
So, that about raps it up for the gameplay. But we have several other things to talk about, like the story. Well, it’s really great for a Mario game, although those of you who like extremely complicated Final Fantasy-like plots will find it rather uninteresting. Basically, Mario gets invited to a Star Festival, but Bowser crashes the party by lifting up Peach’s castle. Sound like Paper Mario? Whatever. Anyway, as Mario goes up into space to get Peach, a Magikoopa sends him flying away. Mario wakes up on a nearby planet, where he finds out that a woman named Rosalina and her Lumas (star people) need his help to recover the Power Stars in order to power their Comet Observatory, and in return, they will help Mario find Princess Peach. Nothing spectacular outside of the cutscenes, but at least you get to learn the story of Rosalina through a storybook.
The only problem I have with the story is the characters of the game. Though Piantas and Nokis in Sunshine were very common and had more to offer when talked to than just tips on how to play the game, everyone except the Lumas, the bee people in a few galaxies, and the Toads—heck, even the Toads sometimes—feel like they’re just planted there to add atmosphere to the galaxies and give you tips on how to play the game. But a Mario game is not even known for its NPCs outside of Princess Peach.
As usual, the graphics and the sound come last. The graphics are actually some of the best on the Wii! As for the sound, there is a fully orchestrated soundtrack! How cool is that?!
So, anyway, this is your reason for buying a Wii if you don’t already have a reason or have a Wii itself. It’s more of a stand-alone game than a sequel to Sunshine, which is good for those who thought Sunshine was too similar to SM64 (although I hate when people criticize things for that. I mean, after all, it’s a Mario game! Live with it!), and is a great game overall, as well as the best Mario game. So buy it. Now.
So What’s Good?
+ The return of some moves that were missing in Sunshine, and the addition of others
+ The 2-Player Co-Star mode
+ The innovative gameplay
+ The Wii Remote-utilizing gameplay elements
+ SOME Prankster Comet missions
+ The bosses
+ The reward for getting all 120 Stars
+ The powerups
+ The story
+ The graphics
+ The soundtrack
…But Then What’s Bad?
- The game looses some of its charm toward the end
- The difficulty of the Wii Remote-utilizing gameplay elements
- Most Prankster Comet missions
- The time limit of some powerups
- The fact that Red Star Mario is nearly useless
- The camera
- Most characters in levels feel like they were planted there for atmosphere and game tips
So What Are the Words?
Gameplay: Pure Greatness!! There are a few flaws here and there, but it’s usually a space blast!
Story: Pretty Good. Nothing spectacular, but great for a Mario game.
Graphics: Pure Greatness!! Some of the best on Wii!
Sound: Pure Greatness!! An orchestrated soundtrack is always appreciated.
Overall: Pure Greatness!! Still reading? Stop and buy it now!!!
I don’t exactly consider Super Mario Galaxy a sequel to Sunshine, as the gameplay has changed drastically between Super Mario Sunshine and Super Mario Galaxy. It seems to me as more of a stand-alone game. Gone are the Red Coin, the Blue Coin, and 100 Yellow Coin collecting missions. The only coin-collection missions you’ll be playing involve collecting 100 PURPLE Coins. While at first glance it may seem that there’s only a color difference, they’re actually more fun than either of those, as they’re mostly not very spaced out from each other (Blue and Yellow Coins), or well-hidden (Red Coins), yet they still strike the right balance of difficulty. As a matter of fact, some are at least ten times harder than any missions that Super Mario 64 OR Sunshine have seen yet (I’m looking at you, Toy Time Galaxy). Yellow Coins still appear with the common functions of restoring health and getting an extra life once fifty are obtained, but they are actually kind of scarce. The most collecting you’ll be doing is picking up Star Bits with the star-shaped cursor (similar to the fairy cursor in Twilight Princess), and they are used to stun enemies (although you’ll probably never use it) and feed hungry star dudes. Another big change is that the game no longer encourages exploration. This is actually a good thing, as, the way the game plays, it would have ruined the game had the stages been too expansive (I know I criticized Metroid Prime 3 for linearity, but it was more similar to its predecessors than Galaxy). The only missions which REALLY encourage exploration are the aforementioned Purple Coin missions, which are more often than not a pain the butt. But these are actually the most minor of changes.
One of the more major changes is that Mario actually regains a few of his moves that he lost in Sunshine, the backflip, crawl, and long jump. Since Mario obviously couldn’t easily crouch with that waterpack on his back, he could no longer use these moves (actually, you could do a backflip if you held down L and R and then pressed A, but it wasn’t the same). But since FLUDD is gone, he can now crouch freely, and do his normal backflip and long jump moves (performed by crouching with Z and pressing A and crouching with Z while running and pressing A, respectively), although his crawl was replaced with a crouch-walk, but it’s also fairly useless. But he also loses some abilities. The dive move is gone completely, and Mario still can’t punch and kick like he could in SM64. However, they get replaced by the Spin Attack (activated by shaking the Wii Remote, and is similar to his up and B move from Smash Bros.), and it serves as your main means of attack throughout most of the game. You can also use your Spin Attack to get some extra height during a jump, and you can still do those fancy Double Jump, Triple Jump, and Ground Pound moves. There’s also a new super jump, activated in 2-Player Co-Star mode when both players press A.
Oh, yes, the 2-Player Co-Star mode. You see, if you have two Wii Remotes, give one to a friend so they can stun, make music with, and throw Star Bits at enemies. Still, it’s only a big help in areas where cannon balls are flying at you from every direction, as your friend can hold them in place.
But I’ve not even started talking about the biggest new feature: the space setting. Now, just about every planetary body (and non-planetary body) in this game has its own gravity; sphere-shaped planet, Toad starships, egg-shaped planets…even the overweight Queen Bee in the Honeyhive Galaxy. But toward the end of the game, this feature starts to lose its charm. Now, I’m going to take the first stage, Good Egg Galaxy (all stages are galaxies), and compare it to one of the final stages, the Dreadnought Galaxy. Now, while the Good Egg Galaxy is pure space action, the Dreadnought Galaxy isn’t as fun or as special as the Good Egg Galaxy. Nintendo probably started rushing when they began to complete the last few stages, and it’s not the first time this has happened (I’m looking a at you, Viewtiful Joe). Still, the last few stages are very much a blast to play, so don’t be too disappointed.
The hub world has little use other than to get you to observatory domes and play with one of the game’s power ups. From the observatory domes, you can see many galaxies that you can travel to. While there are several small galaxies with one Star to get, the ones you will spend the most time in will have at least six. There are 120 Stars to get, and Nintendo actually decided to give you a reward that was worth it (replaying the game as Luigi), so I definitely recommend getting all of them. If you get all of them as Luigi, you get a different reward, but what is it? I’m not telling!
Not all of the stages have a normal space setting. The second galaxy is a sunlit, Earth-like galaxy. There is also a desert galaxy, where you can use the local tornadoes to get a boost by shaking the Wii Remote. There are also several beach galaxies, where you will either swim in the depths of the ocean, hitch a ride on a manta ray (similar to Blooper surfing in Sunshine), plunder a ghost ship, or even race penguins! There’s even a volcano galaxy and a galaxy that’s a mix of both hot and cold elements, although the cold part is the part that you’ll visit the most.
Of course, while the Wii Remote is not abused in the main game, there are times when you’ll have to use the sensor. The first of these is during the aforementioned manta surfing, where you’ll be winding your way around loops and attempting (emphasis on attempting) not to fall off. Yeah, it’s pretty hard. Later, you’ll need to roll a ball by holding the Wii Remote upright and trying to keep the ball steady and not fall to your doom, which happens to be near impossible. You’ll also have to blow a bubble through a maze of hazards. Yeah, you guessed it: hard. While these missions are still very fun, I’m sad to say that there are three trial galaxies that use these three concepts and make the levels even harder, and those are NOT fun.
But the more common ways to use the Wii Remote are far easier. Several times throughout the game, you’ll need to navigate your way through a series of blue, tractor beam-like Pull Stars by using the Wii IR. You’ll also find Launch Stars and Sling Stars as a means of getting from one planet to the next, and you simply shake the Wii Remote to activate them. But of course, there has to be some challenge in it. Most of the time, you’ll have to find five Star Chips or Blue Star Chips for Pull Stars to assemble them, but Launch Stars will occasionally be encased in ice or hidden from view by an obstruction.
Another gameplay element worth noting is Prankster Comets. Throughout the game, Prankster Comets will pass by galaxies, bringing a Power Star and stirring up the galaxies in the process (each large galaxy has three normal Stars, two Stars obtained through Prankster Comet challenges, and one, or, in rare cases, two hidden Stars). There are several types: Fast Foe, Daredevil, Speedy, Cosmic, and Purple. The Fast Foe Comets are the least common, only appearing after missions in which you had to go through a large area with several enemies that can smash you (like Thwomps and those blocks with angry faces from SM64) and thus kill you in one hit, although non-enemy objects, such as moving platforms, get sped up as well. Daredevil Comets make for some nightmarish missions where you have to fight a boss or run through an entire stage with only one chunk of health (you normally have three), and if you get hit once, you die and have to start the ENTIRE mission over. Speedy Comets are easily the most fun, as you only have to run through a level with a somewhat generous time limit. Cosmic Comets force you to race a space-created doppelganger of yourself, and it’s actually pretty fast. And Purple Comets bring upon you the painful Purple Coin missions mentioned at the beginning of the review.
The bosses are usually very fun. You’ll find a dinosaur version of Petey Piranha from Sunshine, (although I’m sad to say that Gooper Blooper doesn’t appear in any form) in which you’ll have to knock its tail into its head. You’ll have to fight him again as a flaming version, where you’ll have to hit its tail when it’s NOT on fire, but when you have to deal the final blow, it’s one of the more nightmarish bosses in the game. Another boss, Bouldergeist, is a dark spirit shielded by rocks that you have to blow up using the local Bomb Boos. While it’s not very hard under normal circumstances, it’s pretty evil when you have to defeat it as a Daredevil Comet mission. King Kaliente is the fiery octopus boss we saw at E3, fought by deflecting his coconuts back at him. And what would be a Mario game without epic battles with Bowser... Or maybe not so epic. In fact, the final boss is far too simple, but whatever. Bowser Jr. also tries his hand again, and he’s a bit more creative than Bowser, even reviving King Kaliente after his defeat at the Good Egg Galaxy (although that’s probably a result of Nintendo’s laziness in making a new boss, as King Kaliente is fought no differently from before).
Difficulty factor is usually not a problem. Throughout most of the game, the missions will be moderate. Still, there are those nightmarishly difficult missions like most Daredevil Comet missions and the Trial Galaxies. Still, it can’t be too hard if I can manage to get all 120 Stars, since I haven’t been able to do it in previous games. However, this could be attributed to the game’s general linearity. It’s also easier and faster when you run through the game as Luigi because you already know what to expect. But the camera makes things harder, as it does in all Mario games. In fact, this is an area where Mario is even worse than Sonic! But whatever. At least it’s not super glitchy and the controls aren’t jerky…
Then there are the powerups. You see, they're all very fun to use. There's Ice Mario, Bee Mario, Fire Mario, Boo Mario...they're all here. Bee Mario allows you to fly and climb on honeycombs, but if you touch water, you revert to your normal self. With Boo Mario, you can float around and phaze through iron bars and whatnot, but if you touch another Boo (who will follow you around, as it loves you...) or touch light, you will return to normal Mario. Fire Mario is a blast from the past, but sadly has an annoying time limit, and he'll only be useful when torches need to be lit, sadly. Being Ice Mario allows you to walk on water and lava, and even scate! Sadly, it, too has a time limit. There's also other powerups, like Red Star Mario, which allows you to fly. But the time limit isn't the flaw here; it's the fact that it only appears in one stage and is only used afterwards as a means of getting around the observatory quickly and n a fun way. Another powerup is a Life Mushroom, which doubles your health until it decreases back to 3.
So, that about raps it up for the gameplay. But we have several other things to talk about, like the story. Well, it’s really great for a Mario game, although those of you who like extremely complicated Final Fantasy-like plots will find it rather uninteresting. Basically, Mario gets invited to a Star Festival, but Bowser crashes the party by lifting up Peach’s castle. Sound like Paper Mario? Whatever. Anyway, as Mario goes up into space to get Peach, a Magikoopa sends him flying away. Mario wakes up on a nearby planet, where he finds out that a woman named Rosalina and her Lumas (star people) need his help to recover the Power Stars in order to power their Comet Observatory, and in return, they will help Mario find Princess Peach. Nothing spectacular outside of the cutscenes, but at least you get to learn the story of Rosalina through a storybook.
The only problem I have with the story is the characters of the game. Though Piantas and Nokis in Sunshine were very common and had more to offer when talked to than just tips on how to play the game, everyone except the Lumas, the bee people in a few galaxies, and the Toads—heck, even the Toads sometimes—feel like they’re just planted there to add atmosphere to the galaxies and give you tips on how to play the game. But a Mario game is not even known for its NPCs outside of Princess Peach.
As usual, the graphics and the sound come last. The graphics are actually some of the best on the Wii! As for the sound, there is a fully orchestrated soundtrack! How cool is that?!
So, anyway, this is your reason for buying a Wii if you don’t already have a reason or have a Wii itself. It’s more of a stand-alone game than a sequel to Sunshine, which is good for those who thought Sunshine was too similar to SM64 (although I hate when people criticize things for that. I mean, after all, it’s a Mario game! Live with it!), and is a great game overall, as well as the best Mario game. So buy it. Now.
So What’s Good?
+ The return of some moves that were missing in Sunshine, and the addition of others
+ The 2-Player Co-Star mode
+ The innovative gameplay
+ The Wii Remote-utilizing gameplay elements
+ SOME Prankster Comet missions
+ The bosses
+ The reward for getting all 120 Stars
+ The powerups
+ The story
+ The graphics
+ The soundtrack
…But Then What’s Bad?
- The game looses some of its charm toward the end
- The difficulty of the Wii Remote-utilizing gameplay elements
- Most Prankster Comet missions
- The time limit of some powerups
- The fact that Red Star Mario is nearly useless
- The camera
- Most characters in levels feel like they were planted there for atmosphere and game tips
So What Are the Words?
Gameplay: Pure Greatness!! There are a few flaws here and there, but it’s usually a space blast!
Story: Pretty Good. Nothing spectacular, but great for a Mario game.
Graphics: Pure Greatness!! Some of the best on Wii!
Sound: Pure Greatness!! An orchestrated soundtrack is always appreciated.
Overall: Pure Greatness!! Still reading? Stop and buy it now!!!
(Sorry, couldn't think of a better title)
As you’re probably unfamiliar with the band Dragonforce, here’s a little overview.
They’re much like an 80’s heavy metal band, with ridiculously long songs, insane guitar solos, and a premise of battling evil with their songs being like the chapters in a book, known as the album.
So, yes, it’s been a while since I’ve done a music review, hasn’t it? I couldn’t find anything I wanted to review. The only full album I’ve reviewed is Minutes to Midnight, by Linkin Park. Now, I’ve FINALLY found something else new, something else I’ve never heard before. And what is it? Why, Inhuman Rampage, by Dragonforce, of course! I had gotten interested after hearing Through the Fire and Flames on Guitar Hero 3, and my father, who already liked them, got me their album, Inhuman Rampage. Somehow, my dad knows that they’re not that popular yet, and since I don’t get very many hits and visitors on my site, I don’t know just how many people I’m going to influence to buy it. Still, I’ll do what I can…
So, there are several things to go over. First of all, I don’t usually listen to 80’s metal bands. It’s not because I don’t like them; it’s because I’m unfamiliar with them…and usually uninterested. Metallica, Bon Jovi, Warrant, and Poison are a few exceptions, but I don’t know if I have listened to many “Dragonforce-ish” songs, yet still, all of the songs on Inhuman Rampage remind me of SOMETHING I’ve heard. And knowing how popular that stuff used to be, I probably did hear something like that.
Still, I’m not exactly used to several aspects of the album. These aspects are things that a modern band would probably receive criticism for, but these guys are drawing inspiration from 80’s metal bands, so what can you do? First of all, the album has a fairly sparse amount of tracks for a 2006 rock album (as the album was released in 2006); it’s only got eight. These tracks, which each tell a different portion of their tale of conquering evil, are:
Through the Fire and Flames
Revolution Deathsquad
Storming the Burning the Fields
Operation Ground and Pound
Body Breakdown
Cry For Eternity
The Flame of Youth
Trail of Broken Hearts
However, these tracks are REALLY long, so the album will still last you about an hour. But all of the songs, with the exception of the final song, Trail of Broken Hearts, also sound pretty much the same. All of them are just as guitar-driven as the last, and many have a “Whoaaa-ohhh-ohhh” chorus in the middle of the song similar to the first Through the Fire and Flames, and both make it seem as though they did that to ensure that all of the songs are equally awesome. And I swear that some of the lyrics in Operation Ground and Pound (I think that’s the one) sound just like those of Through the Fire and Flames. In fact, the only truly outstanding songs on the album are Through the Fire and Flames, the opening song and one that appeared on Guitar Hero 3 (and several others should, as well), and Trail of Broken Hearts, with its triumphant tune and lyrics signifying that they have successfully conquered the evil. Still, while those are the only particularly awesome songs, the others are great as well. The whole sounding-the-same thing is probably just another part of their 80’s metal influence.
So, in general, you should buy Inhuman Rampage, especially if you’re a fan of 80’s heavy metal. If you’re unfamiliar with it, I still recommend you buy this album, cause it just might get you into it! So, goodbye, everyone!
Best Songs:
Through the Fire and Flames
Trail of Broken Hearts
Good Songs:
Revolution Deathsquad
Storming the Burning Fields
Operation Ground and Pound
Body Breakdown
Cry For Eternity
The Flame of Youth
Musical Word: Bravo! You know it’s true; 80’s metal is still good!
As you’re probably unfamiliar with the band Dragonforce, here’s a little overview.
They’re much like an 80’s heavy metal band, with ridiculously long songs, insane guitar solos, and a premise of battling evil with their songs being like the chapters in a book, known as the album.
So, yes, it’s been a while since I’ve done a music review, hasn’t it? I couldn’t find anything I wanted to review. The only full album I’ve reviewed is Minutes to Midnight, by Linkin Park. Now, I’ve FINALLY found something else new, something else I’ve never heard before. And what is it? Why, Inhuman Rampage, by Dragonforce, of course! I had gotten interested after hearing Through the Fire and Flames on Guitar Hero 3, and my father, who already liked them, got me their album, Inhuman Rampage. Somehow, my dad knows that they’re not that popular yet, and since I don’t get very many hits and visitors on my site, I don’t know just how many people I’m going to influence to buy it. Still, I’ll do what I can…
So, there are several things to go over. First of all, I don’t usually listen to 80’s metal bands. It’s not because I don’t like them; it’s because I’m unfamiliar with them…and usually uninterested. Metallica, Bon Jovi, Warrant, and Poison are a few exceptions, but I don’t know if I have listened to many “Dragonforce-ish” songs, yet still, all of the songs on Inhuman Rampage remind me of SOMETHING I’ve heard. And knowing how popular that stuff used to be, I probably did hear something like that.
Still, I’m not exactly used to several aspects of the album. These aspects are things that a modern band would probably receive criticism for, but these guys are drawing inspiration from 80’s metal bands, so what can you do? First of all, the album has a fairly sparse amount of tracks for a 2006 rock album (as the album was released in 2006); it’s only got eight. These tracks, which each tell a different portion of their tale of conquering evil, are:
Through the Fire and Flames
Revolution Deathsquad
Storming the Burning the Fields
Operation Ground and Pound
Body Breakdown
Cry For Eternity
The Flame of Youth
Trail of Broken Hearts
However, these tracks are REALLY long, so the album will still last you about an hour. But all of the songs, with the exception of the final song, Trail of Broken Hearts, also sound pretty much the same. All of them are just as guitar-driven as the last, and many have a “Whoaaa-ohhh-ohhh” chorus in the middle of the song similar to the first Through the Fire and Flames, and both make it seem as though they did that to ensure that all of the songs are equally awesome. And I swear that some of the lyrics in Operation Ground and Pound (I think that’s the one) sound just like those of Through the Fire and Flames. In fact, the only truly outstanding songs on the album are Through the Fire and Flames, the opening song and one that appeared on Guitar Hero 3 (and several others should, as well), and Trail of Broken Hearts, with its triumphant tune and lyrics signifying that they have successfully conquered the evil. Still, while those are the only particularly awesome songs, the others are great as well. The whole sounding-the-same thing is probably just another part of their 80’s metal influence.
So, in general, you should buy Inhuman Rampage, especially if you’re a fan of 80’s heavy metal. If you’re unfamiliar with it, I still recommend you buy this album, cause it just might get you into it! So, goodbye, everyone!
Best Songs:
Through the Fire and Flames
Trail of Broken Hearts
Good Songs:
Revolution Deathsquad
Storming the Burning Fields
Operation Ground and Pound
Body Breakdown
Cry For Eternity
The Flame of Youth
Musical Word: Bravo! You know it’s true; 80’s metal is still good!